A case filled with love
by Fire'on-the'Heart1000
Summary: The BAU team are having a strange case in Nashville. Reid and Hotch are trying to make their relationship move farther. ( bad summary but the story will be better)
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey ya', this is my first Criminal Minds fic so I hope you will like it. This story is about Hotch and Reid (figures) and it is a slash so if you are not into this thing don't read.**_

_**I made up some characters up so I could make the story more interesting and raise your spirit for reading: P**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, but if I did those two will totally be together. Well I can still hope right?**_

_**Enjoy the reading!**_

….

Spencer Reid stood at his desk. For a genius this thing was a very strange thing to him. In his life, he never experienced this, not once. Now he is supposed to think about it all day. He was in love with his boss.

For a long time now, Spencer had feelings for his boss, Aaron Hotchner, but nothing too serious. Yet, he had those feelings even if he knew Aaron was married. It was just some feelings of attraction lust and want. But now it was different. This time his feelings turned into something he could not control, love. Yes, he loved his boss very much. Spencer Reid loved a straight man. A man whose wife left him and took his child with her. A very straight man who did not even knew he existed. Hotch, didn't even looked at Reid like that. The only time he would speak to him is when they got a case and he needed him, or maybe his brain.

Still Spencer loved this man with all his life. He never intended to fall for Aaron, but it happened and he couldn't do anything to change it. Spencer knew all too well why it was a bad idea to love Hotch. First he could be fired if Hotch find out, and second the guy was one hundred percent heterosexual!

Those feelings never blurred his way of acting. He was the same geek, that didn't know what Twilight was. Yep, the same guy that knows all about boring stuff and doesn't know anything about music or sports. I mean seriously, this man was far beyond boring, but still his friends loved him and they found him quite funny sometimes. And even if he acted like he didn't care, he did. Spencer hides it but he was madly in love with Hotch. So in love that when he got home from work he would masturbate thinking about Aaron, or he would take a long cold shower then go to bed, but in the end he would masturbate to fall asleep.

The thing that made him feel sick in his stomach was that he would touch himself. He never did that, not even when he was in high school. He never watched porn, or touched himself for a girl. Yes, he wasn't a virgin. Not even he could be that stupid, but yet he never watched porn.

"Hey, kid what you thinking?" that voice from across him made Spencer jump and come back to the real world.

"Huh, oh nothing." He shook his head from all those stupid thoughts and focused on the earth he was living.

Derek Morgan watched the young genius with careful eyes. He knew something was wrong, but he also knew not to push. If Reid wanted to talk he would talk. However, he still was concern about how easy Reid would lose focus when he was around Hotch and Rossi. Maybe he imagined it all, maybe it was just some things he invented, but he knew Reid all too well to think that he was okay.

"Hey, you two come on we have a case." JJ called from the conference room.

Once everyone was inside JJ started to speak.

"This is Marry Rush, seventeen, she was found dead in her own yard this morning in Nashville. Her hair was cut and her face was removed, not living any traces of id her. But, we matched her fingerprints to the system and that's how we found who she was." A faceless women body appeared on the screen. The blood covered her clothes and the grass below her was tossed. "This is Carrie Mason, she is also seventeen. Again, the same MO like the previous victim, her face was removed and we Id her by her fingerprints. The next victim is Julia Carroll; she was found the same way two weeks ago. She is nineteen. All three girls were from the same city. The local police called because they think this is a serial killer." The three women's body appeared on the screen.

"Look at the way they are positioned. The-the position doesn't represent anything. They are just dumped there, but still the UnSub took his time to cut their hair and remove their faces." Reid pointed out. His eyes were focused on the screen searching for something that they might miss. When he was doing that he felt a pair of eyes on him. Moving his gaze just a bit he saw, with the corner of his eye, Hotch staring at him but immediately looked away. _'What was that all about?'_ he thought.

"Maybe he was in a rush." Derek said.

"No, this kind of killing is different. The UnSub cut their hair and faces. All serial killers have their own way to position the body. They don't find it important, but we can find the way he thinks by using this. We find out if the UnSub is killing for personal pleasure or because he isn't capable to stop-"

"We got it kid where are you going at?" Morgan cut Reid off, already bored.

"My point is that all of the serial killers have their own way, signature. But here…here is-"

"Nothing." Rossi cut in.

"But why?" Prentiss asked confused.

"Okay, we'll talk on the plain. We leave in twenty minutes." Hotch got up and went to the door.

In his apartment Reid was packing his bag when a flash came into his mind.

'_Reid was alone in the bullpen. The room was empty, everyone went home except him. While he was ready to leave he felt two strong arms circling his waist. First he wanted to fight but then he relaxed, remembering whose arms were._

"_You wanna leave without telling your boss?" Hotch whispered in Reid's ear._

"_No." Spencer shivered when he felt Hotch kissing his neck. He dropped his head back, giving more space to the older man to taste the flesh._

"_Mmmm, you taste so good." Hotch murmured._

"_Aaron…" Reid whispered in a moan._

_Hotch moved one arm to Reid's groin and started to…'_

Spencer came back to earth when his cell phone rang. Looking at it he saw he had less than ten minutes to be in the jet. Grabbing his bag quickly he rushed out.

When Spencer was in his car he thought about the fantasy that he just had. It was so intense, so gentle. Sure, he had fantasies before but all of them were just kissing, nothing so intense. He felt like was so absorbed by this fantasy that he might think it was real_. 'How could this be even possible?' _he asked himself. _'Get a hold of yourself! Damn it, he doesn't feel the same way!'_ cursing himself for thinking like that.

The way to Nashville was spend in conclusions and statements. The team wanted to find the killer soon, before he could make another victim. Sometimes, Reid would argue with someone about this killer. About the way he does it and about why he does it. The only one that was at the same page with Spencer would be Hotch. Witch was strange because he never let the team argue about something like that. He would tell them to stop fighting and get to a commune conclusion.

When the jet landed, everyone got out to meet the chief of the police department, Greg Torrez. Giving his greetings and making introductions, the chief leaded the BAU team to the motel they were staying.

"This is Lou's tavern. Whe are a small town and we don't have so many rooms." Greg entered the house and introduced the team to the owner of the tavern, Lou Jeremiah.

"It's good to see that someone is taking care of this city." Lou said only to receive a glare from the chief. "I don't have many rooms left but you could share them."

"How many do you have?" JJ asked.

"Three." The owner confirmed.

"Well we have to sleep two in a room." Rossi added.

"I'm not sleeping with Reid." Morgan said smiling. Reid stared at him confused.

"I'll sleep with him." JJ offered.

"No I'll stay with him." Hotch said shocking everyone.

"Um, you don't have to Hotch. I can stay with JJ." Reid wanted to escape. He didn't want to share the same room with the man he was in love with.

"No. You'll stay with me." he glared at the young genius.

"Okay." The boy just swallowed hard. '_It is going to be a long night!'_

"Then I'll sleep with Rossi." Derek confirmed and Rossi shrugged.

"Well, looks to me that we're going to stay together JJ." Emily smiled to the blonde women.

"Okay I shall bring you the keys to your rooms." The owner left.

After everyone got their keys they went to the rooms to drop the bags. Morgan and Rossi got room number six, Emily and JJ room number seven and Spencer and Hotch room number eight.

Room number eight was at the end of the corridor, like separated from the others. So isolated that if you scream nobody could hear you. _'Perfect now I'm going to think pervert things because of this room!'_ Reid yelled in his head.

Once they were inside Hotch dropped his bag on the floor, followed by Reid's one. Looking around the room Reid didn't found very much. A window with white frame, the walls were brown, some pictures hanging on them. A fire place, a coffee table in the middle of the room. But what catches his attention was the bed. It was a double bed. He was supposed to sleep with Hotch in the same bed. '_Could this be even better?'_

"I'm going to take a shower." Reid moved his gaze to the man in front of him and nodded, he didn't trust his voice.

When Spencer heard the shower running he sighed, sitting on the bed. He dropped his head in his hands, thinking about this night. He was hard before he got in the jet, but now…now he was more than hard. The thought of sharing the same bed with Hotch, and all the things he thought he could do. What if he can't control himself? What if he would kiss Hotch while sleeps? '_Damn it!'_

Spencer raised his eyes when he heard the bathroom door opening. And he cursed himself for doing it. There in front of him was a Hotch dressed with only a towel around his waist and a towel to dry his hair. The water still on his chest, dripping slowly down. When Reid saw that he involuntarily licked his lips. He stared at the body in front of him. That too damns sexy body, with pectorals and muscles that would drop you down in a second. Sure he knew Hotch would look hot, but not like that HOT. He was so sexy; Reid wanted to jump on him by the first sight.

"Reid, is something wrong?" Hotch approached the bed. Reid was too absorbed by his body to notice anything.

"Reid." Hotch kneeled in front of the dreaming boy and stared at him concerned.

"I-I am-am f-fine." Reid got away as quickly as he could. He didn't want to look at Hotch when he looked like this. The man was hot with his clothes on but with only a towel, it was too much to take.

Rushing in the bathroom Reid slammed the door. Dropping onto the floor, with the knees up to his chest and his head in his hands, Reid started to shake. He was not going to stay in this room tonight, no way! A knock on the door.

"Reid you okay?" Aaron yelled form the other end.

"Reid!" Another one.

Reid was shaking on the floor. He was scared of what he might do if he got out of the bathroom. Thoughts of tackling Hotch onto the floor and rip that towel from his waist and suck his cock. '_STOP IT!'_ Reid yelled. He cannot sleep with Aaron in this room. It was at the end of the corridor and nobody would hear them, and that thing gave him more thoughts than help. What the hell is he supposes to do?

"Reid, open the door!" Hotch yelled pissed off.

'_Just tell him you're okay and you need to use the bathroom. He'll get it.'_ Reid thought it was a good idea but he wasn't sure. Getting up from the floor Reid shook his head from the previous thoughts and opened the door. There in front of him was a very pissed off and concerned Hotch, who glared at Spencer. Swallowing hard the emotion Reid smiled, forgetting about the body, and said.

"I-I'm okay Hotch, really. I just needed to use the bathroom." And with that he passed by Hotch not wanting to look him in the eyes.

Reid sat on the bed facing away from his boss. The fear that he might do something or say it covered him. He needed to get out of here, but he had no excuse, and Aaron would probably ask why. Still in his thoughts, Reid never noticed that Hotch sat on the bed next to him.

"Reid, you sure you're okay?" the other man's voice made Reid to jump and look at him.

"Yeah, sure. I mean I am totally fine." He smiled nervously.

"Come on tell me what's wrong, Reid." Hotch was very scared. He cared about Reid very much. A lot more than about the others. Hell, he loved Reid, but he was too afraid to admit it. He thought Reid would never share his feelings. That's why he chose to ignore him completely. He thought that if he does so he might forget him, but he was wrong.

He chose to be in the same room with Reid because he couldn't control himself at that time. It was like the need took over and opened his mouth without thinking. And the fact that the room was at the end of the hall made him think about other things than sleep.

The truth is that he emerged from the bathroom like that just to see Reid's reaction. He thought Reid would just stare and say something like '_you should dress.'_ Or look away ashamed, but this he didn't except. Reid ran into the bathroom and closed the door. He didn't open it until Hotch yelled pissed. So that reaction made him very confused.

"It's nothing really. I'm fine." Reid put together all his power to look at his concern boss.

"Reid." Hotch said softly, making Reid to move his eyes to the floor.

'_Why is he like this?' _Reid was confused by his boss behavior. _'How could he be so calm? He just walked in the room naked! And now he is naked beside me. Does he do this to make me go crazy?'_ Spencer was over frustrated, he was nervous. Not every day your boss wants to share a room with you, and seriously not every day he walks naked in the room while you are still there. Reid sensed it was something behind his acting. Maybe Hotch figure it all out and now he was testing him. '_No, it can't be. I was very careful with this.'_ But then he remembered that he always lost focus when Hotch was around. And he never looks him in the eyes. '_Shit!'_ did he just say shit?

"Um, we should sleep. We have a full day tomorrow." Done with the conversation, Spencer got up. Hotch grabbed his arm and stared at him.

"Where are you going?"

"Um, I'll sleep on the floor so I'm going to search for some sheets to put there."

"It's a double bed, we can sleep together it's no need for you to sleep on the floor." Hotch smiled softly, hoping to make his subordinate more relaxed.

"No, um…the floor is good." Reid again looked at the floor. He just couldn't sleep in the same bed with Aaron, so even if the floor sounded bad he was whiling to do it.

"Then give me a reason."

"What?"

"Give me a reason for you to sleep on the floor and not in bed with me." Hotch smiled pulling the younger man closer.

"Um…I-I am a bad sleeper. I kick a lot in my sleep; it's hard to sleep with me." '_Why did I just say that?'_

"Not good enough." He pulled Spencer on the bed and rolled over so that he could be on top of Reid. Holding Spencer's hands steady, Aaron stared into the brown eyes he loved so much.

He finally realized how Reid felt. When Healy left Hotch was upset, but then he remembered that he should try anything to get his family back to him. So he went to visit Jack every time he could and while he was there he would talk with Healy about solving things out. He was happy even if she left so he didn't pay much attention on how or who was looking at him with hopeful eyes. Then Healy died. Hotch was at a loss, he was destroyed. He loved her so much and then she was gone because of him.

Time went by and things started to get better. Hotch got over his depress but never forgot his beloved wife, and Spencer got used of being ignored. Then one day, Reid went missing. He just disappeared from his apartment and he never showed to work. The team was really worried that he might be injured and they started to search for him.

Finally Hotch went to Reid's apartment to see if he came back. A neighbor said he was on the roof, because he went there to clear his mind sometimes. When Hotch got there he saw Spencer sitting on the roof, looking at the sky. Whe he approached he heard Reid say _'Don't. I am fine I just want to be alone._' Hotch never really understood why but he wasn't whiling to let the boy alone on the roof. He sat next to Reid and said _'We are a team, if you want to be alone you should be alone with me._' Aaron never thought what his words meant for Spencer, all he knew was that in that moment he saw tears running down from his eyes.

In that moment Hotch saw a part of Reid he never saw before. The tears were something he never saw in Reid. Of course, he saw him crying before, but not like this. Those tears were because he was hurt, alone and scared. Hotch's mind got crazy, he started to develop feelings he swore he would never have.

In time his feelings became something he was afraid to share. Love. He loved Spencer for everything he was. And now he saw that he was right about everything, Reid loved him back. For Hotch it was the time to prove the truth.

"Hotch, what are you doing?" Reid asked scared of all this and a little thrilled at the same time.

"Call me Aaron, and I prove my point." He lowered his head closing his eyes.

All Reid knew until that moment went blur. He felt soft lips covering his and a tongue forcing its way inside, asking for entrance. Spencer opened his mouth full of surprise when Hotch forced his tongue inside, searching in every corner of the hot mouth, wanting to memorize every detail about Spencer. Reid pulled his hands behind Hotch's neck, trying desperately to find something to hold on to. He didn't even realize Hotch let go of him, he just enjoyed the kiss.

Breaking away slowly, Hotch put a little distance between their lips so that they could breath. Smiling down at Spencer and panting he moved his right hand over Reid's groin. He wanted to feel if he was hard. Hearing a low moan escaping from the other man and the feeling of the hard organ in his hand made Aaron smiled and kiss Spencer one more time.

"H-Hotch…" Spencer cried out.

"Aaron." Hotch moved down to Reid's neck, sucking and kissing hard.

"Please…Ahh-st-stop." He pushed the older man up with all the force he could.

"What's wrong I thought you wanted this." Hotch frowned.

"I-I do. I do, I just…" he looked away from Aaron.

"You what? Spencer you need to tell me if you want this." Hotch wanted to get up but Reid hold him in place. Trying to look at Hotch, Reid blushed when he saw the deep brown eyes he loved so much.

"I-I've never been with a man before." Spencer whispered like he was telling a secret.

"That's what this is about?" Hotch hold his laugh but failed.

"It's not funny Hotch!" Spencer smacked Aaron's arm.

"Sorry, sorry. Look Spence, if it makes you feel any better, I never been with a man before either."

"It does, a little." They both laughed.

"We can take this as slow as you want. I want to know you, Spencer." Hotch rolled on his side beside Reid.

"You know me already." Reid frowned confused.

"Not like that. I want to know the real Spencer Reid. The one that I want to spend the rest of my life with." Hotch smacked himself for saying the last part. He thought he scared Reid; maybe he was too fast with this.

"The rest of your life huh? That's a long time, you sure you'll endure me that long?" Spencer smiled and kissed Aaron slowly.

"Oh, trust me, I'll put up with you just fine. Or maybe I'll put you up on me." Hotch said low and seductive.

The time flew away, and the couple just stood there beside each other, kissing and laughing. Hotch didn't laughed so much since Healy, and now that he could be himself with the man he loved made him feel like he was on cloud nine. But he couldn't get out of his mind the day he saw Reid crying on the roof. He didn't forget it since then and every day he would fall asleep thinking about it. That day was the day he discovered he cared about Reid more than a friend or a team member; he cared about him like a lover.

"What you thinking?" Reid placed his palm on his lover cheek. Aaron turned a little and kissed it slowly.

"The day o fell in love with you." Hotch smiled.

"When was it?"

"The day when you went missing and we searched for you all day. Remember that day?"

"Yeah." Reid looked away. He did remember it but not because of Hotch did, but because it was the worst day he ever had in his life.

"When I found you on the roof, and you told me to leave you alone and I sat next to you, you were crying. I saw you cry a lot of times but like that I never did." Reid never looked up; he remembered that day all too well.

"Yeah, I-I remember it."

"When I saw you like that it broke my heart. I started to feel like I should've been there for you more and support you, but after Healy died I was at a loss. I was a mess and I couldn't think about anything. But when I saw you I … thought all I did were to ignore you and I felt bad."

"It's okay. I got it that it isn't easy to lose the person you love."

"Yeah. Anyway, since then I never stop thinking about you. Every night I think about that day and the way it made me feel. I swore to never fall in love again but you…you changed that. You changed me." Hotch stopped. He saw the way Spencer felt about this conversation and he wasn't what he expected. "Why were you crying back then?" he figure it was because of the day he just mentioned. Since the start Spencer felt uncomfortable.

"Um…a lot of things."

"That's not an answer Spence."

"Huh." Spencer sighed. He should tell Hotch now why he cried, what bad could that do?

"Spence…"

"I was crying because of you." He whispered. When he heard no comment he continued. "The day before, we had a case here. Well after the case, you remember we went to relax a little." He paused again to wait for a comment.

"In the middle of the party a women approach you and flirted with you. You were too drunk to remember this but, after she flirted with you, you took her out back and didn't came back. When we were leaving and you didn't show up I was worried so I went to look for you…" this time Spencer stopped, he couldn't feel his heart beating any more. Hotch felt the same way. Even if he was drunk he did remember that night but he never imagine Reid went to look for him. "When I opened the back door…you were with that women and you two were…" he looked away from the piercing stare. "Having sex…Fucking. Anyway I knew you didn't notice me so I went back. When I got home I started to cry and thought about how stupid I am. I knew I had no right of being jealous but I was and I'm sorry. The next day I threw away my phone and went to the roof to clear my mind and then…."

"I found you" Hotch continued Reid's phrase.

"Yeah." Spencer still held his sight away from the man.

"That's why you told me to leave you alone. You wanted to clear your mind before you could see Me." now it all made sense. Why Spencer cried, why he never talked about that day, and why he never looked him in the eyes since then.

"Yeah..." Spencer never talked about that day because it hurt him too much. But now for Hotch it was a good day because he fell in love with him. Maybe it was a good thing, maybe now he could turn that day into something good after all the hurt he suffered.

Since his father left him, Reid didn't though he could be hurt that much. Then he had to turn his mother to the hospital because of her illness. In that day Spencer felt so awful of what he did that he actually ignored his mom for all those years. He would send her cards and letters but he would never go there personally.

Spencer locked himself from others, not showing that he was hurt. It was best for all not to know. But when he saw Hotch with that woman something inside him changed. His all too hurt heart revealed itself and made him hid from everybody.

He got in the only place he felt safe, the roof. While he was there his mind exposed him all. From the most tearful days to the greatest. But most of all, the memories of Aaron and how he felt when he faced what he faced last night. In his mind he kept telling himself he did not have the right to be jealous but in his soul he was devastated. The person he loved the most fucked a hooker in the back of a bar. Of course he was mad, angry, sad, but he couldn't face Hotch back then.

"Can-can I ask you a question?" Spencer found the courage to look at Hotch this time.

"Sure, anything you want." Smiling Hotch placed his arm on his young lover hip.

"The fact that you got out of the bathroom naked wasn't an accident, wasn't it?"

"Whoa-?" Hotch placed a hand on his chest and made a hurt face. "How could you ever think that I-"he receive a glare from Reid and sighed. "Yeah, I planned to see your reaction. But in my defense I totally didn't expect you to run into the bathroom."

"Trust me, if you knew why I ran in there you would be seriously surprise." Spencer laughed and not after long Hotch followed.

"We should go to sleep. Whe have a case to solve." Hotch got up and went to the bathroom.

After five minutes he came back in a pair of slacks and spotted Reid already asleep, but he didn't saw his night shirt. When Aaron pulled the covers aside, so he could slide in, his eyes traveled down onto the bed. Staring at the body next to him Hotch's brain went numb. Reid was in a pair of short pants but you could see the hard on he had. His cock pressed through the slacks, wanting nothing more than to be shoved into the fragile boy's ass, slamming hard into it. Sighing Hotch climbed in the bed and went to sleep. He felt some weight climbing on his chest; putting his hand over the small man, he squeezed it protectively then Hotch fell asleep.

…

The next morning Hotch woke up in an empty bed. Jerking his eyes open, Aaron glanced around the room in searching for his now fresh lover. When nothing and no one came to his sight, Hotch got up.

"Spence, you in here?" he asked coming into the bathroom.

'_Nothing',_ he thought. Going back into the room, he made his way to the dresser to change. '_Maybe he went out.'_ Still fighting to find a solution, Hotch heard a knock on the door. Sighing, Aaron opened the door being fully surprised when JJ appeared behind it.

"JJ, morning." Hotch smiled confused.

"Good morning Hotch. Um, Reid send me to tell you he and Rossi are going at the crime scene." She blush a little when she saw her boss in only a pair of slacks. She never imagined that he could be so sexy. Of course she knew he was well build but not so well. She was surprised in a good way.

"And you came all this way up just to tell me that?" he sounded harsher than he intended. Let's face it, the man just confessed he loved his subordinate and the next morning he wakes up in an empty bed. Of course he was moody.

"Um, I also wanted to let you know that Morgan and I were called by the chief at the station to check some files. And we should leave now, so I wouldn't really see you to tell you what Reid wanted."

"Good, then thanks. Go, Emily and I will be there soon." He smiled in apology for his previous act.

JJ smiled and turned around. When she made two steps she stopped and looked back at Hotch, calling back before he could close the door. "Oh, one more thing, Rossi asked if you could drop at the crime scene for a second opinion. It seems the local police infected the scene and he is really mad about it. Maybe you could talk to the officers." With that she left without waiting for an answer.

Hotch's SUV stopped at the crime scene. He was mad before he went into the car, but now he was furious. How could the officers infect the crime scene area? He was gonna talk to those cops and tell them a little piece of his thoughts.

When he got out of the car Reid was running to his direction. Hotch could fell himself calming some when he saw his lover. Smiling like an idiot Hotch took a deep breath before he found himself face to face with the man he spends the night with. _'How could such a cute face be legal to show on the street?' _he shook his head. '_Okay, now I'm being stupid. I did not just think that about Spencer.'_

"Hey Hotch." Spencer smiled; his unique smile. '_Damn get a grip Aaron.' _Hotch cursed himself for the hard on he got when he watched that smile.

"Don't smile like that and expect me to control myself." Hotch whispered looking around; making sure none could hear them.

"Sorry, I didn't think I had that effect on you." Spencer laughed.

"Huh, no need to be sorry for. Just don't smile like that if you don't want me not to jump on you." _Did I just say that?' _

"Really, well is it a promise?" Reid raised his eyebrows.

"Well-"

"Hotch, come over here!" Aaron was saved by the voice of his old friend, Rossi.

Hotch thanked David for his voice; the man saved him from saying anything stupid. Making his way over, with Reid on his heels, Hotch looked around the crime scene careful to see what the officers touched. When he reached David Rossi, Reid went to the place where the body was, to check it out.

"So, why did you want me to talk to the officers?" Hotch asked.

"Because you're the boss, aren't you?" Rossi frowned.

"Yes I am, but still you could've handled it yourself." Hotch suspected something was not right after JJ told him that Rossi asked for him to drop by. Usual Rossi would deal with something like infecting a crime scene on his own. Hell he probably would tell Hotch about it when it was too late. But now, he called him to come there and talk to the cops.

"Maybe I want to be a little more professional."

"Yeah, right." Hotch smiled.

Walking around the yard in search for anything that the cops infected, Hotch spotted that Reid was staring at some leafs.

"Found anything interesting?

"This is where Mary Rush was found. I'm looking for anything that could tell us why the UnSub left the body like that." Reid leaned forward even more.

"Found anything that we could use?"

"If you look closely, those leafs aren't like they supposed to be." Seeing the confusion of his lover, Reid explained. "Usually when a body is dumped the grass or the ground it change itself on the shape of the body. However, those leafs doesn't show any sign that the body was throw just like that, it looks like the body was dragged here, and if I am right-"

"We have to deal with more than one UnSub." Hotch cut Reid off. Reid looked at his coworker, staring at each other.

….

_**Hope you guys liked it and if you did I will do a new chapter or a sequel, that totally depends on you guys. Please review and tell me what you think about it. ;)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**So this is it people, I wanna say thanks to the ones that made time and read my fic and for the ones that reviewed it or made it favorite. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! First I wanna say that I received a review that made me feel really bad, so if the person that wrote it is still reading this I wanna apologies if he/she felt offended by what I wrote. Now that is clear, hope that you guys think it deserved the waiting and that you'll like my story.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

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_**Previously:**_ The BAU team went to Nashville to investigate a serial of murderers that took place. The killer cut the hair of his victims and removed their faces. The first night Hotch and Reid shared the room; apparently they confessed their feelings for each other. Now the team came to the conclusion that they might have to deal with more UnSubs.

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The team gathered together in the police department, all of them frustrated because of this case. Nothing they faced until now seemed to be helpful; this killer knew what he was doing and without a signature to follow they didn't knew what to say, or what to do. They still didn't figure out why the UnSub removed the faces of those girls.

"It may be a sign of remorse. Maybe he doesn't stand the faces he sees when they are dead." Every head turned to Morgan, who looked more surprised when it happened.

"It can't be. Those guys have no feelings at all." Prentiss added.

"Okay, then maybe he is afraid that we might find out what kind of women he is after." Derek continued.

"It can't be that. Remember, he started killing long before we came here. Maybe those girls have some kind of connection with him and he doesn't want us to find out." JJ cut in.

"Guys I think we don't look at this the way we should." Reid surprised everyone with this statement.

"How's so pretty boy?" Derek asked. Hotch had to hold his growl when he heard Morgan calling Reid 'pretty boy'. He always hated when he did that, but now that he and Reid were together, the jealousy took over his body.

For him to be jealous it was a natural thing but the question that hunted him was: '_What if he doesn't like me this way?'_ He asked himself this from the beginning, he wanted to be sure that he wasn't so over protective with his lover. However, now he had the right to be jealous, and you don't want a jealous Hotch on your tracks.

"We know it is more than one UnSub. We also know that they kill only teenagers, now what are we missing?" Reid continued. Ignoring the face Hotch made when he heard Morgan.

"Motive." Rossi said.

"A signature." JJ said.

"A connection between the victims." Hotch added.

"Exactly! These are the only things we are missing." Everybody stared confused at the young genius.

"I get it. If we don't have this we can't make a profile. Those are the bases of a profiler; we use those three things to find out how the UnSub is working. But without them we are useless in finding him." Rossi made his team to stare at him this time.

"And the UnSubs know that. This means that he knows how we work, he studied our cases before." Hotch said.

"But he has a partner, does he knows how you guy work too?" The chief broke in. He was afraid that his town might be in danger, if not even the FBI could find this killer no one could.

"Unlikely, they might work together but the guy we are looking for is the one that is making the orders. He is the one that pulls the ropes here; his partner is more likely the submissive. He is probably the one that executes the murderers or dumps the body." Prentiss said to the chief.

"It is very common that the submissive is following the leader because he has a debt to pay, or maybe because he trusts him. They could be childhood friends, and the submissive was always bullied, then the partner appeared and protects him. Since then, he followed the leader everywhere, because he felt safe." Derek continued the explaining.

"In both cases the subordinate will die. The leader will kill his partner after he considers his job will be done, and then he will most likely find another one." Hotch said.

"So you're saying that he won't stop until he will kill his partner?"

"No, we are saying that he'll never stop killing. Even after his partner is no longer with him, until he will find another one, he will kill by himself."

"This is a killer that gets high when he feels the blood of his victims running in his hands. His need of killing is constantly increasing, and in the end the need will be too much and he will move to another city after he eliminates this one." David said making the chief stare in fear.

"He is capable to kill this entire city?" Greg managed to say filled with fear.

"That's why we want to find him so quickly." The BAU team confirmed and started to search every file they had.

**####**

For almost six hours silence comprised the Nashville police department. In chef's office, the FBI agents went to every single case that might be the same with theirs. Garcia checked the entire civilians that are and were staying here. They searched for anything that could tell them something, anything about this killer.

Reid was staring at the map, reading and making lines of where the killer attacked and where the girls were found. His mind constantly thinking about his MO and his motive. Sighing, Reid looked at his colleagues; they all were asleep with files covering them. Starching his hands, Reid left the office in search for some coffee.

After he looked for like ten minutes he finally found it. Spencer stopped when he saw Hotch there as well. In his mind Spencer thought he could kiss his older lover, for the fact that he didn't receive a kiss since the night they confessed to each other. He imagined that he could go over there and pull Aaron in a long sloppy kiss, and forget about anything. But that would be inappropriate, they had to solve this case and a good sex round was not the thing he needed to think, even if it sounded good.

"Hey, want some coffee?" Aaron smiled softly when he saw the young genius.

"Um, yes." Spencer shook his head, walking over.

"So, found anything yet?" Aaron said while he poured some coffee for the sleepy boy.

"Not really." When his coup was full, Spencer started looking for sugar, or anything that he could use to make his coffee sweeter. When he found what he aim for, Spencer turned to his beautiful lover and at the same time pouring sugar in his coffee.

"What are you thinking?" Reid asked. He didn't need to be a profiler to know when his boss was thinking about something, he just felt it.

"I'm thinking how much I wanna kiss right now and how much I need to hold back." Hotch smiled.

"How much do you wanna kiss me right now?" Reid teased in a low, seductive voice.

"More than anything in the world." Hotch started moving in Spencer's direction slowly.

"Yeah, I get that. But on a scale from one to ten, how much exactly?" Reid continued even after Aaron was nose to nose with him.

"Eleven." Hotch whispered in the younger man's ear.

"Okay, but eleven is a number, you need to be more specific if you want m-"

"Reid." Hotch cut Spencer off.

"Sorry." Smiling constantly, Spencer closed the distance between him and his lover.

When their lips met Spencer felt like the world stopped moving. His entire body shivering and melting in the arms of the man he loved. This sensation was something he didn't experienced since a long time ago. This warm floating through his body, his veins until it reach his heart. And the fact that only Hotch could make him feel like this with just a simple touch of the lips.

How could just a simple touch made Spencer's mind go numb. For him this was impossible, it was just a thought, a fantasy that was playing in his imagination. Reid always believed in science, he believed that everything had an explanation and a purpose to exist. Moreover, love was a concept he never thought, or imagined he will reach. For him love was just a word that was too often used, and the concept of being in love was just a dream he had at night. Still, here he was, madly in love with this very person that could turn his skin into fire by just a stare.

"Spence…" Hotch whispered after pulling their lips apart. Raising his hand to touch Spencer's cheek, Hotch moved his mouth to his lover's ear. "I love you."

"I know." Reid whispered back.

"That's all you have to say?" Hotch said annoyed, pulling himself back and stepping away from the other man.

"What do you want me to say?"

"You seriously have to ask?" seeing that his partner wasn't joking, Aaron sighed and continued walking to the door. "Forget it; we have a case to solve."

Reid watched as his boss was going farther and farther, but he didn't followed. Just standing there, Reid stared at the police department and how the cops were moving form a desk to another. The truth was that he knew what Aaron wanted him to say but he couldn't bring himself to say it, he just couldn't.

'_In the end I couldn't say it. I'm such a stupid man!'_ Spencer knew Hotch loved him with all his heart and he also knew that he didn't fell in love since Healy, but Spencer just couldn't speak those words. 'I love you' were not some words to be thrown away like that; even thought he did love Aaron. '_Maybe I'm just a coward. How could I screw up like this? He really loves me, and I destroyed everything.'_ he didn't knew why he could say it, but his own heart was paying for his stubbornness.

"Reid, you're okay?" Emily's voice was heard by the young genius and made him come back.

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep enough." Reid smiled and walked away. Now in his mind was more than just sleep. It was like two sides of him were fighting. One was the one that told him to get the hell out those words, 'cause it won't kill him; and the other was telling him that if he would do it he would be hurt much more.

'_Why can't I make this right? Why do I have to make him mad? Why, why?'_ Spencer stopped in mid step; he raised his head up and looked at the ceiling. The people around him were running and talking, making the brunette boy more frustrate. He couldn't concentrate in here. Turning around, Spencer went straight to the exit door. '_I have to clear my head for some time.'_ And with that, the confused man walked down the street until he couldn't be seen.

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_**Hey ya'! Now if you want to know where is Reid running and why he is so scared to confess to Hotch you just have to review and tell me if you are interested for more. **__** ;)**_


	3. I should have told you! part 1

_**Hi you all! Well this is my new chapter. Sorry it took me so long to update, but my cousin came to visit me and she stayed one week. I guess you all know those sixteen girls; all they want is to go out and stay all day on facebook. But I had fun, that I admit. It was good to see her….But let's forget about my family and concentrate on this story.**_

_**This is a chapter when everything is sad. You'll see what Spencer is really capable to do, and how strong (I think) he is. However I don't wanna ruin the surprise so ENJOY THE READING! ***_

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_**Previously:**_ The BAU team is still investigating the murders that took place in Nashville. The killers are too hard to find and nothing seems to fit into place. Hotch and Reid had problems in their relationship. When Aaron told Spencer he loves him, and he didn't say anything about it, Hotch left without any other word. Now, Spencer has run away because of his confused mind.

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On a dark alley, a shadow was walking slowly and without an exactly destination. The person just wandered around like that would do any good. For almost six and a half hours the person just walked into the night and didn't look back. That person was Spencer Reid, the brilliant young genius that worked for the BAU team.

For a genius his mind didn't help him very well in those past days. He was in love with his boss, Aaron Hotchner. And not far from now (to be more exactly, the first night they arrived here) Aaron confessed his feelings for him. After that night everything went wrong. They found out that they had to deal with more than one UnSub and the team wasn't prepared to find out that, with all their experience, they couldn't find those two. After that, Spencer met with Aaron when he went to search for coffee, and he told Spencer that he loved him. Now, this was the real problem of why Spencer took off.

He didn't tell his lover he loved him back, and now Hotch was mad. But, more importantly Reid was upset. Not because of his boss, but because he was a coward and couldn't bring himself to say it back. Of course he loved Aaron, if he didn't he wouldn't spend that night with him in the first place. But why couldn't he spell those simple three words '_I love you'_.

For the first time, since he left the police station, Spencer stopped. He found out why he couldn't say it. He knew all this time but the answer was buried in his brain. He was afraid not to lose Aaron. In his experience, all the persons he loved left him alone.

First was his dad, Spencer loved him but then he left him and his mother alone. After that Spencer had to place his beloved mother into a hospital. Then was Gideon, he was like a father to Spencer, but eventually he disappeared too. When that happened Spencer was devastated, all Gideon left for him was a letter. After that Reid thought everything was going to be fine, but he was wrong. JJ left, leaving behind a hurt young boy whose friends started to vanish right in front of his eyes. Next was Emily, she faked her own dead. When that happened Spencer was too destroyed to do anything, he even thought to go back to drugs. But he knew all too well that the drugs were doing more damage than good.

Even if Emily came back, he couldn't stop thinking that it was his fault that she left. He was at fault that his father left, and then his mother, next Gideon, and everyone else around him and who he called friend and loved them. It was his fault, but yet it wasn't. He just thought it was, but it wasn't. He thought that if he would love again or tell anyone that he loves them, they would end up leaving or worse.

Those three simple words, that were spelled too often, were the reason of his loneliness. Those simple words made all the people around him disappear. Those simple three words were the only thing he hated to escape from his lips. He swore not to tell anyone else about it and never tell someone he loves them. He was too scared to be alone. He was alone all his life, but now that he had friends was much worse too endure. The drugs he took made him feel better, that was true, but still the hole was still there in his heart. And the fear was still there in his mind.

Reid sat down on the cold ground and started to cry. His own feelings were too strong to bear, he felt like this entire world was trying to punish him for something. Why was it so hard for him to accept the fact that he could love without being hurt? Why couldn't he just forget all that happened and start over? He knew why, because he couldn't forget. Even if he tried, he couldn't. His own brain was a cage that trapped his memories there, not wanting anything to vanish. He was afraid that if he forgets, he would end up like his mother.

Spencer loved the fact that he couldn't forget, because that would help him and the team. But now, he cursed the day he got this brilliant mind. He wanted to forget all the suffering and all the pain he went through and faced. All those times when he was alone and suffered no one came to rescue him. And he was okay with it, because he didn't need to care for others. However, now he had friends, and those friends were special to him. If they suffer, he suffers too. He hated that he was so weak, he hated that he couldn't protect anyone, not even himself.

"Hey, kid what are ya' doing here?" The voice was loud and powerful. Spencer looked up and saw a massive man with an angry face.

"I asked you something, answer me!" this time the man was pushing Spencer hard so he could hit the ground. When Spencer cried in pain because of the impact, the man grinned and grabbed the fragile man's arm. "Maybe I could enjoy myself with you for some hours." The man pulled out a syringe and prinked Spencer. Suddenly, Reid felt his body too weak and heavy to fight with his aggressor. After he saw that the boy was asleep, the massive man dragged his victim after him.

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In the police department, everybody was busy finding something useful. The FBI agents still fought to make a profile, that nobody sensed the missing person. After some time Hotch came to think about Spencer, and figured out that he didn't saw him since their fight. The worry was taking over his body and he started to think something was wrong.

"Hey, you guys saw Reid?" finally Hotch asked.

"I met with him when I went for coffee, but he just took off. I thought he went to you guys." Emily confessed.

"No, he didn't come here." JJ said.

"Maybe he just went to get some air." Derek said.

"In the middle of a case like this, I doubt it." Emily spoke again.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Hotch said worried. Looking at the window he sighed. '_Where are you Spence?'_

"Okay I say we go look for him." Derek stands up followed by the others.

"Where are you guys going? Made the profile already?" the chief said entering the office.

"No, one of our profilers is missing and we are going to search for him." Rossi said walking to the door.

"Now, when we have a killer walking free on streets? No offense, but he can wait, this town can't!" the chief stand in the door way.

"Chief Greg, I suggest you to move from the door." Derek threaded.

"No, this is a much worse situation than your lost friend. He might be wandering around and come back as soon as possible, but this killer won't wait another minute."

"I won't say it again. MOVE AWAY FROM THE DOOR or I'll go through you!" Derek shouted angry.

"Chief Greg, as you said the killer is walking freely on the street. And our friend is there, with him, at this time of night. How would you feel if one of your family members would face the killer? Wouldn't you go there and look for that person?" Hotch had to keep himself from punching the bastard and leave him bleeding on the floor.

When he thought for a moment, the chief moved aside and let the team to go search for their friend. Getting in the SUVs, everybody split up in search for their lost friend.

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When Spencer woke up he was blinded by a shining white light. Trying desperately to move, he found out he was tied against something. '_A chair…'_ he thought. Moving a bit more, Spencer came to the conclusion that he was kidnapped. Searching deep in his brain, he tried to find out what the hell happened.

'_I was on an alley, after I ran from the police station. Then I thought about my fight with Aaron and this guy found me…He-he injected me with something…but what?'_ Spencer felt like a knife was cutting through his head. This headache was coming from hell. Maybe it was because of the drug this guy gave him.

"You're awake already? I think I underestimate you." The voice made Spencer ears go numb.

"I...whe-where… am-am I?" Spencer said whispering. The man came forward and grinned at the hopeless boy.

"This, my friend is not important. The important thing now, is what am I going to do to you?" The man pulled a knife from behind his back and started to play with it in his hand.

"Who-who, are-are y-you?" his voice was cracked and his throat was dry. But still, Spencer wanted to know who the hell was he dealing with?

"I see your voice is still cracking, it will be better in a moment. As for who I am…that is not important." The man approached and leaned forward with his face. So close that Spencer could feel and breath the same air with the man.

Reid wanted to draw back but the man held his face in place. Leaning even closer and closing his eyes, the man pressed his lips to the victim. When he felt that, Reid shut his lips closed, so closed that if it would been more they would change their position. The man backed away and frowned. Spencer split in disgust and glared at the man before him.

"You insolent bitch, how dare you close your mouth when I kiss you!" the man slammed Spencer against his mouth. Crying in pain Spencer split some saliva and turned back at the man before him.

"I'll teach you a lesson that you'll never forget!" the man walked away and came back five minutes later. When he came back he held in his right hand a knife (with the blade much larger than the one before) and in his left one, a glove with spikes at its end.

"I will show you what means to follow your master's orders." The man walked until he was in the same position as before. Putting on the spike glove, he grinned. "Now, let's play a game. The rules are simple, if you follow my orders and do as I please, you will live and I will give you a reward. As for, what will happen if you don't obey…I will teach you by force what will happen." Still grinning, the man leaned forward again and kissed Spencer once again. Like before, he received the same meeting.

"I will never kiss someone whose breath smells like garbage!" Reid smiled after pulling apart with all his force. But the smile fades as quickly as it appeared. Feeling pain in his stomach, Reid's eyes started to expand, like they wanted to get out because of the pain. When he looked down, he saw the spiked glove deep buried in his abdomen.

Reid split out blood and was crying. Dropping his head down, his mouth was hanging open, trying to catch some air. Seeing the occasion, the man pulled Spencer's head up by his hair and started to kiss him. This time, with his mouth open, the man shoved his tongue inside starting to move it around. Reid was crying, he couldn't move away and he couldn't close his mouth. What was he supposed to do? He felt like wanted to throw up, he felt like his own stomach was turning upside down. Then when he thought for a moment, he found the solution. He bitted the tongue that was inside his beautiful and peaceful mouth.

The man pulled apart and placed his hand over his mouth. Walking backwards, the man was moaning in pain. Reid seeing what he did, he grinned and spilt once again. Relieved that the glove disappeared from his stomach area. Taking deep and short breaths, Reid was preparing for what was coming next. He knew the glove was coming once again and he needed to have air for what was coming.

"You damn bitch! What did I tell you about disobeying? Now you have to pay!" the man said still in pain.

"Fuck you!" Reid yelled. After he did that his eyes expanded once more. His mouth was hanging open and his abdomen was in deep pain.

"Now, I'm tired of kissing such and insolent mouth. You are nothing more than those women, or that stupid partner of mine!" the man whispered in Reid's ear. "All of you are the same. You want to be cherished and cared for. But what about the pleasure of being tortured, huh? How about the ecstasy you have when you do that?"

Reid felt the weigh from his stomach going away. Taking the opportunity, Spencer took a deep breath. When he heard what the man said, he felt like a new fear was coming over the old one. He was face to face with the serial killer and his partner was killed too. Now he was next. _'Damn it! Alright, keep it together Spencer. You're a profiler, and you can convince this guy to stop."_

"Say something you fucking bitch!" the UnSub yelled and punched Reid once again. But this time he hit the face.

The blood was coming from Spencer's cheek. And all he did was to hid the pain and turn to the killer. Tears in his eyes, and a bunch of blood over his right cheek, Spencer glared right into the devil's eyes. He was willing to face the pain and fight for his life. He was done with relying on others. He could survive just fine by himself. Couldn't he?

"Oh, you think you're though? Don't give me that shit." The UnSub yelled.

"You know nothing about me." Reid grinned again.

"Oh, but I know plenty about you, and your team. You see, I studied all of you, just to be sure you have what's needed to catch me." the killer punched Reid once again in his stomach.

"And we do. And no… matter how much…You… think you… know about… us… you don…'t know shit." Reid panted in the lack of air.

"Still wanting to play rough after what I did to you? Oh, well I guess then I could share with you what I know." The UnSub placed the head of the knife on Spencer's shirt and started to play with the buttons. Reid inhaled deeply when he felt the blade against his chest.

**_################################################## ######################_**

In the town, the BAU team was searching for their missing person like crazy. And all of them were worried about Spencer, but not as much as Hotch. If they were worried, you could say he was one step close to knock at all the doors he find and search for his lover. Or look in every single hole in the ground, in hope that he might be there.

Hotch was scared that Spencer might be in trouble. He never should have fight with him. He shouldn't leave like that. Now it was his fault that he was missing. '_This is my entire fault! If I wouldn't tell him I love him, he would still be here. This is all my fault!'_

"Wanna share what's on your mind?" Rossi asked from across him.

Hotch just stared at the road. He had to be grateful he picked Rossi to be his partner in this. Morgan went with Emily and JJ stood at the police department, just in case Reid came back. But for Hotch was a good thing that Rossi went with him. He was his best friend and he could tell him about anything.

"I'm worried about Reid."

"We all are. But that is not something for you to be so troubled about so much. What is really going on?"

"Before he ran off, we fought."

"And you blame yourself for that? Aaron, it's not your fault he ran. Who knows why he ran off; maybe he was tired and went back to the motel."

"I don't think so David." Hotch's hands thigh around the wheel. The thought that Spencer could be in the hands of the killer scared all of his self being.

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"Where should I start?" the killer smiled and pulled free a button from Spencer's shirt, by his knife. "Oh, I know. Why don't I start with your beloved friend JJ, huh? Well let's see… she has a husband and a boy, right? She asked you to be her child's godfather, didn't she? Well her husband is a total loser if you ask me, but you know…everybody with their taste." Moving the knife to the next button, the UnSub continued.

"Well, she left the team for a better job, right? But after some time she came back. Now, let's see…. How about Gideon? He was like a father to you wasn't he? And he left all by yourself and the only thing he left for you was a letter?" this time the killer freed another button. "Now if you ask me, this is not a father at all. Leaving you alone, even if he knows you are scared of being alone." Moving down to another button, the man smiled.

"So, who's next? Oh, I know. Is Emily, the one that faked her own dead?" he released the current button. "Did she tell you she is your friend? Oh, poor you, I think it hurt you a lot when she did that. She is an Interpol ex agent, right? And when she left, she was chased by someone… what was his name?" he put a finger on his chin and pat it in sarcasm. "Well, I don't know his name but I'm sure he worth dying for."

"The next one is… Derek." He released another button, without playing with it. Spencer saw that and figured out that the UnSub was getting impatient. "Oh, the big and loving Derek Morgan. He has two sisters, and his father died at the line of duty. After that he was a problem kid, but then his life saver came. The one that made Derek walk the good path, but nobody knew that he abused Derek in secret. He really cares for you right? Like a big brother?"

Spencer started to panic. This guy wasn't just good at what he was doing or he knew how the team worked. This guy knew all about the team members. He knew their backgrounds and feelings and how they acted on their own. This was bad, very bad. This UnSub could bury all of them in just one second. In Spencer's mind this killer was well prepared. He was informed by all of their personal life and professional as well. When did he learn so much about them?

"Hmmm… let's see, next one is Rossi. Yes, David Rossi. The writer and former BAU agent, if I'm right. He faced a murder that took place in a small town. The kids witnessed their own parents' dead, and agent Rossi couldn't find the killer in the first place. Wow, you guys are good. I thought that you know, you're just talking but you aren't." Spencer frowned. '_Did he just changed the subject with another phrase. Did he just congratulate us?'_

"How about we talk about Miss Penelope Garcia? She is quite a character you know? Is she the technical analysis for your team?" when Spencer swallowed hard, the man grinned. "So, she really is your technical analysis. Can I ask you a question? How do you pay her, because I know her pretty well and I think she is like a clown? Do you pay her in candy bars, or chocolate?" Seeing that the young boy won't cooperate, the man smiled and looked at the shirt he just opened. The bare chest of his victim was fully exposed and only a few buttons were closed. Spencer thought that he would go to the next button, but instead the man placed the blade of the knife right on the skin. When the sharp and cold blade made contact with the warm flesh, Spencer took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Looks like you know a lot about us. You did your homework, as I can see." Spencer said smiling and looking into the eyes of his aggressor. _'Just tell him how much you appreciate his work and how good he is at it.'_

"How stupid do you think I am?" the man asked and started to cut Spencer's chest. "Do you really think I can be bought with some sweet talk? I am not a narcissist and I am not like any other of your killers. I thought I made myself clear when I killed those women!" the man put much pressure on the knife and the blade started to cut deeper. Spencer cried in agony.

The blade moved down and deeper, and the young genius was in desperate pain. Dropping his head backwards, Spencer opened his mouth and shut his eyes close. The pain and blood was filling his helpless body. This so much pain was reminding him of his loneliness. How so much pain could be brought by just a simple tool? How could, so much blood came out a simple body? How could the only thing that he would remember would be this pain and the only thing his lover will remember would be their fight? Spencer had to live with the thought that he didn't have the time to say Hotch he loved him back. '_I should had just tell him I love him' _

"You get it now boy? You are no match for me. Nor you nor your friends." The UnSub took his time to cut through the chest of his victim, making sure that there would be a scar that will never disappear.

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Spencer yelled when his flesh was cut open and he couldn't stop the pain that went right through his chest.

"FBI drop your weapon, and step away from the man!" a voice was heard inside the room. The man stopped and backed away from Spencer.

Derek ran over and saw his friend tied up by a chair. The anger covered him, when he cuffed the killer.

"I'll make sure that you are gonna die inside the cell! You will never get out of this alive!" after he handed the killer to Emily, Derek untied the young man and placed him in his arms. The opening on his chest was so open and so deep that Derek thought that his friend was going to die in his hands. '_Hang in there Spencer. Don't give up on us man!' _

"Hang in there Spencer!" he yelled.

When they got outside, Derek gave the wounded man to the medics. When the ambulance took off everybody on the team was staring after it. Nobody felt safe and nobody was feeling good. It was true they caught the killer, but why couldn't they be happy? They were worried about their friend. And now the only thing they could do is to hope and pray everything is going to be fine.

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_**Soooooo….. Now, this is a part of the chapter. For the next part I have some ideas but not so much. Any suggestions? Hope you guys liked it and if you did, tell me. **__** See ya!***_


	4. I should have told you! part 2

**Hi ya' all! Well I finally update. Sorry for being late but here is so sunny that I had to go out and the school was almost finishing so I had to focus on that for some time. Anyway, my school life is not important right now. You all want to know if this is the last chapter or not or if Reid is okay or not****.**

**All I'm saying is that this chapter is very bad written. So sorry if some things don't fit or if the grammar sucked, but I lost my way of inspiration. I wrote this chapter on the song 'Angel of darkness' by Nightcore so of course it will be a little messed up. Well enough with the chatting and let's focus on the story.**

**But first I wanna thank all my reader that waited so much time and are still willing to read my story. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Now I wanna thank you because you reviewed my story and thank you for reading this. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything (I thought I should say it now. After all I said it just in the first chapter.) But if I owned this show….well I can dream too right?**

**ENJOY!**

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**Previously: Reid ran away and he was found by the killer and tortured. When team was searching for him Spencer found out that the UnSub knew everything about his team and himself. In the last moment the UnSub cut Reid's chest, just before Derek came in and arrest him.**

* * *

"White man, his name is Spencer Reid. His chest was cut open and he lost a lot of blood. We need a surgery room NOW!" A man said pushing the bed Reid was lying covered in blood, the doctors started to run to the wounded man.

"What happened to him?" another doctor said when he reached him.

"The killer found him. We need his blood type right away, and lot of bags with his blood NOW!" the previously doctor yelled. The crowd of doctors guided the patient to the OR, behind them the blood was falling on the floor, leaving a trace.

When the door of the operation room closed, nobody could see what will happen to poor Reid. His life was hanging on rope now. His love for Hotch, that was never told, was lying on the floor, and the worry of being alone also disappeared. Now Spencer Reid was dying and no one could stop that.

* * *

"_What happened?" _a voice spoke, but no one seemed to notice.

"_Hey! Anybody, what happened?" _again the voice yelled but no one turned around.

"_You are in a critical situation doctor Spencer Reid." Another voice was heard but just by the other man. Spencer turned around and saw a man standing there, in white clothes._

"_Who are you, and what do you mean by that?" Spencer asked._

"_My name is Joshua. I am a guide in this world for the ones that are lost, just like you." The man said and approached Spencer._

"_What's that suppose to mean?" the young man frowned._

"_You, my friend, are dying." That phrase made Spencer fall to his knees. Joshua just continued his walking to the confused ghost. "You are in a critical situation. Your body lost a lot of blood, and now your life rests in the hands of the doctors and faith. "_

"_No, no, no, NO! You're lying, THIS CAN'T BE!" Spencer shouted. "This can't be…no…no."_

"_I'm afraid it is true. But you don't have to worry, I'm sure that the doctors will do all they can to save you. Until we find out what will happen to you, I have to inform you of some things. You can't be seen or heard by anyone. It is like you don't even exist. Next, you have to listen to what I have to say to you because it is very important. Don't try to interfere with your surgery or to go back to your body, because it's gonna be crucial for your life. And the last one is that no matter what will happen to you in this world, you will never try to escape and go back to your life." The man touched the felled boy shoulder._

"_Hotch. I have to find Hotch." Reid raised pushing the arm from his shoulder and started to walk, Joshua after him._

"_Did you even hear a word I said?" Joshua asked._

"_Yes I did, but I have to find him."_

"_You can't." Joshua said running after the other ghost._

"_I don't care. I have to find him and tell him how I feel before it's too late." Reid said continuing his running through the room full of people._

"_You can't talk to him. Even if you find him he won't hear you." Spencer stopped and faced his guide angry._

"_I don't care. I don't care if he can't see me, if he can't hear me. I HAVE TO FIND HIM, got it?" with this the genius left._

_Walking around and looking for his lover, Spencer wondered if he even came. Stopping in mid sense, Reid spotted his team. They all were in the waiting room with sorrow in their eyes. Spencer searched around for Hotch but he didn't saw him. Making his way closer to his friends, Reid heard them talk._

"I can't believe he ran away like that." Morgan said. "And now he is in surgery. What the hell happened to him?"

"I don't know. But I'm sure that he will make it and he'll tell us." Rossi assured his friend.

"I can't believe this happened." JJ cried on Emily's shoulder.

"None of us can." Derek dropped his head in his hands.

"What I don't get is why the hell did Hotch remain at the police station to interrogate that bastard when Reid is on rope?" Rossi said confused.

"_What? Aaron is not here?" Spencer stepped back from his friends. Dropping on his knees again he started to cry. "He hates me, he hates Me." the boy whispered shaking his head._

"_He doesn't hate you. He loves you." Joshua appeared behind Spencer._

"_No, if he loved me he would be here."_

"_He can't bear to see you in this situation." Placing his arm on the crying boy's shoulder again, Joshua helped him get up._

"_No, he hates me because I didn't say I loved him back. He doesn't want to see me again." Spencer ran again and got lost in the crowd of people._

* * *

The BAU team was standing in the waiting room with their hearts stopped. No one could believe that Reid was the one that was in surgery. Nothing was fitting into place, Reid being cut open on his chest and the killer being the one that made it. How did this even happen?

Rossi's phone started to ring and everybody jumped at the sound. David rose up and went to the farthest wall so he could spoke. After he made sure no one was around he answered.

"Where the hell are you Aaron? Spencer is dying here." Rossi asked in a low voice.

'_I know. I'm at the police station.' _Aaron spoke at the other line.

"Why the hell are you there when you should be here. Our friend is in a surgery that could decide his life and you wanna write rapports?" David asked sarcastically.

'_You know all too well that I wanna be there."_

"To me it doesn't look like you wanna be here. 'Cause if you want that you'd be here for Spencer."

'_I-I can't be there right now. I just can't'_

"Aaron, Spencer might die and you really wanna be away from him when that happens? What kind of a friend are you?"

'_David, I can't be there now. It hurts too much to face it.'_

"So what, you gonna hide at the police station? Do you really think that would do any good? It's gonna hurt even from there. Hell it's gonna hurt even more from there than it hurts from here."

'_It's hurts too much to think about him in this moment. If I'm there I might not take it David.'_

"It hurts all of us. We all love him and he is our friend, but you don't see us away from him. No, we are here hoping and praying that he is gonna be okay. Aaron, no one said it's easy on anyone. The kid made all of us think we can be better and now he is dying; do you really think is a good idea to be away from him right now?" Rossi lectured his boss.

'_You don't get it David. For me it's much more to endure.'_

"So what, you're gonna hide at a police station? Aaron, you love him right? Then if you do, you should be here for him." Rossi said.

'_How did you-'_

"Oh, come on Aaron it's not like is the biggest secret in the world. I'm a profiler after all."

'_But we've been careful not to let you guy see us.'_

"And you thought that will work? I read people's behavior for a living and you think you can hide from me?" Rossi laughed.

'_I guess I should've figured that out right?' Hotch found himself laughing too._

"You sure should've." After a moment of silence David continued in a serious voice. "Look Aaron I won't demand you to come, but if you really love this kid half of the way I think you do, then you should be here. Think about it, you already lost Healy, and you were away when she died. Do you really wanna be away right now? When Spencer is at limit?"

'_I know that already David. I wanna be there but-'_

"No 'but', you wanna be here period. All you have to is get in that damn car and move your ass here." And with that Rossi hung up the phone.

* * *

Hotch was cut off guard by the beep in his phone. Sighing, Aaron started to walk around the police station. Wondering if what Rossi said was true and if it was okay for him to be there now.

The truth was that Aaron was scared he would lose his lover. In one way Rossi was right. He already lost Healy because he was away. But now, Spencer was dying and he was writing rapports. That really sounded like he didn't cared, but he did. He loved Spencer with all his heart, his soul and every piece of him. But how could he endure such pain when he knows deep in his heart that is his fault.

It was his fault that he thought Spencer was ready to hear the words 'I love you', but he was wrong. Maybe it was because he thought Reid loved him back, so he would tell it back. Or maybe it was because he was afraid that if he won't tell Spencer how he felt, he would regret it for the rest of his life. Either way, it hurt when Spencer only answered with 'I know'. Even if it was just a joke, or it was the truth, Aaron felt like the world just dropped in his head. He really hoped that if he would show his love for Reid, he would be more open and confess his feelings for him too.

Hotch stopped and started to think about Gideon. What would he do in this situation? After all he was like a father to Reid and he understood him better than any of the team members. He always cared for Reid and talked to him when was needed. Right now Hotch felt a little jealousy growing deep inside him. Knowing that he wasn't the one Reid depended on until now made him feel bad. Even after Gideon left Spencer was still attached to him, better than anyone else.

Hotch stopped in his track and thought for a moment. He was never the one Reid could depend on. After Gideon left Spencer started to depend on JJ, then on Emily. Hell he even depend on Derek and Rossi more than he depended on him. Not even now, after they've been together and confessed their feelings for each other, Spencer still depended on anyone else than him.

'_Does he really not trust me enough to depend on me?'_ Hotch thought. '_Maybe he is right. I mean look at me. I'm here and he is dying on a hospital table. How could I miss such an important thing? I love him no matter what.'_ Aaron started to move again and went straight to the exit door. He knew what he had to do and he was willing to make it. He will go to the hospital and be there for Reid no matter what. Even if Reid didn't depend on him before, he was going to show Spencer that he can rely on him every time.

* * *

_The tears were too much to handle. Like only a tear was filled with the pain and sorrow of the person that let it out. The brown eyes, which were before filled with happiness and joy, now they were releasing, gently, drops of water and soreness. The beautiful brown eyes that before could make think that nothing was bad in the world, were now filled with sorrow and suffering. How could so beautiful eyes cry for such a simple thing? The answer was simple. The most important thing in their life was missing. The most important person in their life was not here to watch them close for a last moment._

"_I know what you think but you're wrong." A voice from behind him was heard._

"_How could I be wrong? I'm never wrong." Spencer dried his eyes before he could turn around to face Joshua._

"_Now you are very wrong. You don't even know why he didn't come."_

"_He didn't come because he hates me." Spencer closed the distance between him and his guide._

"_And you are very sure of that?" Joshua asked when he saw the thoughts in the other's ghost eyes._

"_Yes!"_

"_Then you should die." Spencer frowned. "To think such an absurd thing, and only because he is not here? How could you be so stupid?"_

"_You know nothing about me!" Spencer shouted._

"_I know you better than you do! And I know how it is to think you are not loved. The only person I ever loved turned me away and killed me. But unlike you I trusted that person. You think that if you don't spell the words 'I love you' the person you love will never leave you? How could you be so idiot?" Joshua yelled._

"_You don't know anything about me and Aaron!" Spencer felt the tears coming again. Am I an idiot indeed? He asked himself._

"_Why do you think you know everything? Not even a genius knows everything! Hotch loves you more than his life, more than he will ever love someone. And you are willing to throw that away just because you are afraid of loneliness? You are a coward."_

"_What the hell do you know about love? You said it yourself; the one you loved killed you! So what the hell would you know?" that comments before sure made Spencer react._

"_The love I felt was a love I never felt before. But you're right, how would I know. The man I loved killed me… but the days I spent with him were the only days I ever smiled. Even if I knew he doesn't loves me back, I kept serving him and following him. Because I believed that if I'm near him I will never feel alone again. But you have something special, and you're a fool if you throw that away." For the first time since they met, Joshua smiled sadly and tears started to form inside his eyes._

"…"

"_The love you are feeling, and the love Aaron is feeling for you are the most intense that will ever exist. And no matter how much you try, no matter how much you avoid, you can't run from love. You think he will leave you, even after he went through all those situation to see you safe and happy." He shook his head. "If you think that this one love will leave you than you are a fool. It will never leave, only if you are willing to destroy it and leave it behind."_

"_I-I…"_

"_Trust me now, just now. Don't do this; don't give up on this love and dreams. You always hoped that Hotch will return your feelings, and now you run from them. What kind of man are you? Fight for what you love and for what you want!" tears still in his eyes, Joshua couldn't bring himself to cry._

_A bright light showed up. Shining right above Spencer. Looking up he saw the doctors and his body, lying on a bed. Moving his gaze back to Joshua, he saw him smile. Spencer found himself crying again._

"_Guess this is good bye!" this time Joshua cried and smiled at the same time._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Remember what I told you okay? Don't throw away this. Love and feel free to say it!"_

_Spencer just nodded before he could be dragged up into the light._

"_Farewell Spencer Reid. It was nice to see you finally." With that Joshua disappeared._

* * *

Rossi and the tam shot right up when the doctor that took care of Spencer appeared. All of them with their hopes up that their friend was okay and he will be from now on. Staring right at the doctor, the team leaved his face only when a man ran down the hall. It was Hotch.

"Hotch where the hell were you?" Derek asked concerned.

"I'm sorry guys. I thought that if I stay away it won't hurt so much. I'm sorry I didn't came sooner." Hotch explained, just before the doctor arrived.

"Are you friends with Spencer Reid?" he asked. When they nodded he continued. "My name is Doctor Robinson. I came to…inform you that…"

"Cut to the chase doc. He is okay?" Rossi interrupted.

"I-I'm very…very sorry…but…" the team dropped dead. "He-he is g-gone…" doctor Robinson looked away when all of them burst into tears.

"N-no!" JJ cried out, crushing herself on Derek, who was crying too.

"No-no this-this can't be…" Hotch whispered filled with tears. "No! You're lying! Where is he?" he grabbed the doctor's collar and shouted, tears all over his face. "He cannot be dead. He can't… again! Tell me where is he?" Rossi touched Aaron's shoulder and shook his head slowly.

"I-I'm very sorry for your lost." The doctor said in a low voice after Aaron let him go.

Hotch dropped to his knees and started to cry. Shaking his head and whispering something no one could understand. '_This can't be happening again…please. Not again…. I love you Spence! Please don't leave me…please…please…'_ David helped him get up and held him while he cried his souls out. '_Please Spence…please…just come back…PLEASE!'_

'_This couldn't be. He can't be dead.' _Aaron thought again. His heart just stopped beating. When he thought that nothing could be worse, this just happened. The love of his life was dead again. Such a déjà vu…and only because he was such a child and got mad. Just because Spencer didn't said 'I love you' back. Just because of him he ran away and was found by the killer. Just because of him he was tortured, and just because of him he died. I was his entire fault.

All those years when he hid his love for Spencer. All those years when he tried to make himself come to his senses and forget him. All those years were the only time he regretted he didn't said 'I love you' sooner. All this time when he watched Spencer from afar, thinking that no one saw him. All those times when he protected Spencer and thought only to his safety and then his. Those times were the one Aaron loved the most. He loved that back then he could make Spencer laugh and smile every time. He loved that back then he could say something and not make Spencer cry or feel bad.

Those beautiful years when he tried to confess his feelings to the younger man. When he repeated in the mirror what to say and when he faced the real person, he lost his words. The days when he watched over the boy when he was asleep in the jet. Only too see his sleepy face and to make sure he was safe. All those missions when he asked for a room closer to Reid's. Just to make sure nothing will happen in the night. Just to be sure he was close to him. All this time was now gone. The good and bad days were now gone. Spencer was gone. Everything he lived for was gone. He didn't had a reason to live for now on…

"Doctor! Doctor! Come quickly!" a woman's voice was heard running down the hall way.

"What is it?" Doctor Robinson asked concerned.

"He-he…w-woke u-up!" she panted heavily.

"Who?"

"The patient. Spencer Reid- he-he woke up."

"What?" Doctor Robinson asked in shock and followed the nurse to the said dead man. Behind him the FBI agents were running like crazies.

When they reached the room, they were aiming for, the nurse opened it. Inside the room was a bed were Spencer Reid was lying, his eyes almost closed, but still open. His chest was moving up and down slowly, sign that he was breathing and he was alive. With joy in their hearts the team ran to the boy.

"Reid! Can you hear me?" JJ asked smiling. Reid turned his head slowly and looked at his friends tired.

"H-Ho-Aar-Aaron." He managed to say between pain and sleep. Raising his hand in slow motion, like trying to catch something that wasn't there, Spencer opened his eyes more.

"I'm here babe." Hotch cough his hand and took it in his, squeezing it with all his strength.

"Hi…" Spencer smiled, ignoring that they weren't alone in the room.

"Hi there." His lover answered and kissed the top of the younger man's hand. "I've missed you so much Spence."

"Aar-on I-I lo-lov-"Spencer's eyes shut close and his breath stopped and the machine beside his bed started to beep. The doctor ran to his bed and started to check his pulse.

"Spence! Babe, Spencer!" Aaron shouted shaking the lifeless body.

"Take them out of here! Bring the defibrillator in here NOW!" the doctor yelled.

"No! Babe, come on look at me. Open your eyes Spence, please!" Hotch yelled being pulled by Derek and Rossi away from his lover. "No…" he whispered in the last moment before he left the room.

* * *

**WHOA! Again, I let you with your heart in your throat. You thought this was the last chapter? How could I make things better so soon after I tried my best to make Spencer suffer so much? Nah, I will take my time with this story because it is very important to me…well what do you think about this chapter huh? Tell me please. **** See ya at the next chapter!**


	5. I'm very sorry!

_**Hey there people! I have some news to tell you.**_

_**Unfortunately I can't write at the moment because I have lots of test and papers for school, even drawings and projects so I am really, extremely sorry about all this. I don't know when I'll be able to continue…**_

_**My life is a mess right now so I can't exactly concentrate on writing; even at school I have problems. That's why I have to keep my grades up and do all my homework.**_

_**Anyway thank you for your patience and I really am sorry for all this mess I caused. THANK YOU AGAIN and hope we'll see soon.**_

_**LOVE YA' GUYS!**_


	6. The fun begins at the hospital! part 1

_**Hi again, I know I didn't post in a long time and I am VERY, VERY, VERY SORRY for that, but as I said I had school. And now that the school is over I finally thought I might have some time to write but unfortunately I didn't. I had all kinds of family problems. A lot with my dad who's got a heart disease and he is not taking his pills, so I have to keep an eye on him most of the time. Then I went in vacation to my grandma and there I didn't have internet, it felt like I was in the jungle. :**__**) sorry… :**__**) Then I had a blockage. I could bring any ideas out of my mind.**_

_**Now I finally finished this chapter and I want to say thank you for the ones that still read my story even if it took me long enough to update it. And thank you for being so patient with me. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!**_

_**Now, I will let you enjoy this chapter and please tell me what you think at the end ;)**_

* * *

_**Previously: The BAU team arrested the UnSub who tortured Reid, than they brought the wounded boy to the hospital. There, Spencer died on the operating table. When the doctor went to tell the friends, a nurse comes running and tells him that Spencer is alive. When all the team comes to see him Hotch takes Spencer's hand and starts to cry. Then all of the sudden Spencer's heart stops and his friends are escorted out of the room.**_

* * *

Two persons were standing in that room, with their eyes still in shock from what they saw. Staring just for a moment at the other person and then moving his gaze to the bed, the man just frowned and murmured something under his breath. In his entire career he didn't see a patient that died and then come back to life. It was really something you don't see every day.

"So nurse Bridget, how did this happen? And tell me every single detail." Doctor Robinson asked the woman in front of him.

"I-I don't know doctor..." The nurse had her voice cracked.

'_After the doctors and the rest of the crew left the OR, Bridget and another nurse remained to clean up and take care of Spencer's body._

"_I'll go take more mops, this room is a mess." The other nurse said and left the room._

_Bridget was done with cleaning the table when the women left. Making her way to the operating table she looked at the body. _

"_I'm very sorry." Grabbing the sheet and placing it over the man's head, Bridget sighed._

_Just before she could turn around, so that she could take what else she needed, the sheet started to move. With her eyes wide, the nurse closed the distance between her and the bed. Placing her hands over the white material, she pulled it down, thinking that it was just her imagination. When she spotted the revealed face, she almost collapsed. There, in front of her, was a very awake Spencer Reid._

_Dropping her mouth open, the nurse rushed out of the room with the speed of light. Running into people, until she finally figured something out. She left the boy there, without him knowing where he is. After she ran into more people, Bridget found a nurse and asked her to take care of Spencer and to take him in the room 203. Then she rushed to search for Doctor Robinson.'_

"That's all that happened." The woman sighed in relief.

"I see…" putting his hand under his chin, in sign of thinking, Robinson gazed one more time at the patient.

The doctor still couldn't believe he came back to life, twice. Even after he woke up, Spencer still had a trouble coming back. His heart stopped for ten minutes. But, even so, he came back again.

"He sure is an interesting patient, right doctor?" Bridget's voice made Robinson snap from his thoughts.

"He sure is. I haven't met this kind of preservation in my entire career."

"Me either. But I guess he really loves his life."

"Yeah…" once again the doctor stared at the boy. '_What the hell happened to him?'_

"Doctor, what are we going to say to his friends?" Bridget asked a little awkward.

"Huh, we don't tell them anything yet." Seeing the confused look on the woman's face, he explained. "He just came to life out of the blue. I don't think I can give a logical explanation to that yet."

"But they deserve to see him, to know he is alive."

"We don't know how much he is going to stay this way!" he shouted frustrated. "I'd better know that he will live and then give the news to the family and friends." He gazed one more time at the bed. This felt like it was the hundred times he did that. "Until then, let's just keep this between us."

"But-"

"No 'buts', I said we aren't going to say anything to them. If they'll ask anything just avoid the subject." With that he stormed out of the room, leaving a nurse totally confuse and an unconscious boy behind the closed door.

* * *

"Calm down Aaron, I'm sure he is fine!" Rossi addressed to the other man, who was walking in circle for what seemed like hours.

"I can't, what if he isn't fine?" Hotch said frustrated.

"Well, have some faith would you? He did wake up from his dead state did he?" Again David spoke, annoyed by all this already. After they were expelled from the room Spencer was in, everybody, except Aaron and him, went to eat something and calm down for some time.

"Yeah, he did, but what if he doesn't make it this time?"

"He will make it Aaron!" this time David's voice was heard by the entire hospital. "Look, he is fine. You are fine. We all are fine! So why don't you just sit and calm down? You're going to make a hole in that floor if you keep this walking up." He moved to his friend and placed his hand over his shoulder.

"No! I will not sit down, and I will certainly not calm down when I know that _my boyfriend_ is sitting there ready to die!" Pushing the arm away, Aaron continued his walk.

"He won't die and you know it!"

"How would you know it? And how could you tell me to calm down when Spencer is in there and nobody came to tell us anything?"

"I'm sure he is fine. Now would you please come and sit down already?" David sat down frustrated.

"You know what? I don't get you, some hours before you were yelling at me in the phone to come here because he is dying. And now…now you tell me to calm down because he is fine? Make up your mind David; you can't have it both ways." With those last words Hotch left his friend alone in the waiting room.

"Geez, what in the world did you do to him Reid?" the Italian man murmured under his breath.

* * *

Time flew by and as soon as you could know the sunset started to show up. Hotch was on the roof, alone, remembering those past few days. How everything was so hard to understand all of the sudden. It was so frustrating. One day he kisses Spencer and tells him he loves him and the next day Spencer is held hostage and almost killed. Hotch felt tears running down his eyes, but he couldn't stop himself from staring at the sunset.

In his mind Hotch knew that he did everything he could, but in his heart, his soul, it still wasn't enough. He just wasn't good enough to save Spencer before this could happen. He wasn't good enough for Spencer. The pain in his heart was covered only by the guilt. The guilt that he could do something and he didn't, he just stood and watched how the only person he loved so much died right in front of his eyes. Even now he could remember the fight they had. It was so trivial and yet so complicated, for some reason he wished to just turn back the time and never tell Spencer anything. He wanted to leave everything the way it was before they went to the hotel.

He wanted to do so much and now…nothing seemed to matter anymore. The desire he had when he first told Spencer how he felt now vanished. The warm feeling inside his heart when he looked at Spencer's face, the butterflies in his stomach when he heard his lover speaking, all the things he wanted to say and do were now blurred by a very thick wall of concern and sorrow. Hotch just knew deep in his heart that all this was his fault. If he didn't confessed to Reid then none of this would've happen. They wouldn't have had a fight and Spencer wouldn't have got in the hands of the UnSub in the first place.

How foolish was he, remembering all that stuff and still thinking that all this was just a coincidence, which could've happen to anyone. However it didn't happened to just anyone, it happened to Spencer and it was all Aaron's fault.

"This is my entire fault…I am the only responsible here." Aaron blamed himself out loud.

"It's not your fault Hotch, we all thought he went out for some air." Aaron quickly turned around and saw Derek standing there. "If it's someone's fault then it is the entire team. We should've known before thinking it was okay for Spencer to go out like that." Derek sat beside his boss staring at the sunset as well.

"I appreciate the kind words but they don't make me feel any better. And how the hell did you know I was here?"

"You're a predictable person Hotch. Believe it or not we already knew you and little boy were together, even before you did."

"Remind me to never hide something from you guys." Aaron joked.

"I don't think you could." Derek laughed.

"Yeah…" Hotch's eyes fixed on the ground.

"It's not your fault and you know it." Derek said placing his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I don't really know…"

"Yes you do. "

"I should've been there Derek. I should've saved him."

"You can't follow him everywhere he goes Aaron. Trust me; the pain will go away eventually."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I've been there already and I know how you feel. When my cousin was stalked and I told her to leave and never come back I thought I did a good job, I thought I protected her from any harm. However, as time went by I started to have doubts. Thinking that making her leave wasn't such a good idea after all. Then I started to think she died. After all those years she didn't make any sign of being alive. I knew it was my fault if she died, because I was the one telling her that it was okay to leave and never come back. I felt guilty a long time and I had a deep pain in my heart that no one could imagine how much it hurt."

"I don't see how this is the same pain as mine. You didn't watch her die." Hotch whispered in fear.

"No, but if I know something is that thinking of someone you love as being dead is much, much worse than actually seeing it. If you think that special someone is dead is like living all your life in fear that you could never see that person again. You can't do anything to make the pain easier. All you think is if that person is really dead and how can you deal with it."

"How do you deal with the pain?" Aaron stared in Derek's eyes scared.

"You start thinking that it will become better and don't blame yourself for something you didn't do. It wasn't you who put him in this hospital bed, and it wasn't you who made the killer do it either. You were a good lover and went to look for him when you realized he was missing. And you were the one that cried on his bed side when he woke up. You can't be blamed for any of these."

"I started to think that if we didn't confess to each other, then maybe none of this would have happen."

"DON'T! Because if you two wouldn't confess, then you wouldn't know how good it feels to be with each other. Just imagine how bad Reid would feel when you show up with another person beside you. Or how bad you will feel when he does that. You may be hiding the feelings but the pain never goes away."

"Maybe, but it can't be as bad as this kind of pain."

"You're right. But what if Reid would still be on this hospital bed and you two wouldn't be together? What if he died? He wouldn't have known about your feelings and how much you really love him. And you will regret it as long as you live, because that special someone you love died without knowing that you share his feelings. Once something is gone you can't get it back, no matter how much you try. If you lose that someone that makes you has butterflies in your stomach every single minute you see or hear them, you can't help but wonder if it worth the price." With that last words Derek rose up and left.

* * *

Hotch was wandering in the hospital's hallways with his head dropped down and hands in his pockets. He just kept thinking about what Derek just told him and how to deal with the pain, the guilt. Maybe it wasn't his fault that Spencer was in here, but it sure as hell felt like it. And even though no one told him that, he just kept blaming himself because it was easier that way.

"Mister, mister!" Aaron heard a woman yelling behind him and turned around. He saw the same nurse as before, the one that came to tell them about Spencer, running and waving at him.

"Um, can I help you?" Aaron asked politely when the women stopped in front of him.

"Actually I came to tell you something." Bridget panted.

"What is it, is Spence alright?" Aaron started to panic.

"Yes, yes, he is stable. But that is what I came to tell you, Mister Reid is awake and he asked for you."

"What, really?" Hotch couldn't believe his ears. Spencer was alive and he asked for him.

"Yes, hurry!" Bridget and Aaron rushed down the hallways to Spencer's room.

* * *

The door slammed open and Aaron ran into the room like his life depended on it. He turned his head to the bed when he saw the beautiful eyes of his lover. Running again Hotch stopped right beside the bed and kneeled down, dropping his head on Spencer's arm and putting his palm over the hand.

"God I've been so worried." Aaron spoke between tears.

"It's okay Aaron. I'm okay now." Spencer whispered gently. Aaron started to cry harder when he heard the voice of his lover. It was like a stone was removed from his heart when that angelic voice was heard.

"I don't know what I would've done if I lost you." This time Hotch raised his head and stared right in Spencer's eyes. "I love you so much Spence. I am so sorry for what I said. I don't care if you don't say you love me back, I am just happy you're okay."

"Aaron…I…" Spencer looked away.

"What is it Spence?" Hotch stared to freak out on the inside.

"I have some bad news…" Spencer turned to his boss.

"What is it?"

"I think it will be better if we call the whole team."

* * *

After ten minutes the BAU team plus Garcia, who came a little after Hotch, was together and ready for action in Spencer's room. Aaron was standing beside his lover and the others stood in chairs in front of him.

"Okay, I will cut to the chase because we don't have much time. The UnSub that kidnapped me, I managed to do his profile."

"We don't need it anymore Spencer; we've got the guy in the interrogation room as we speak." David said happy.

"Listen to me; you don't know what he is capable of. While he held me hostage, he started to tell me about all of us. Not only our work but our personal life too. He knew every piece of junk we collected and how we think. Every secret we've ever got he knows it."

"How is this possible?" Emily said scared.

"He has some one on the inside." Hotch continued.

"You mean he's got someone on the FBI?" JJ asked shocked.

"It's not a surprise. A lot of federal agents are corrupted, and most of them are in the CIA." Derek said casually.

"Yeah, the only thing is that not even the CIA knows us that well." Garcia continued a little shaken.

"Because they don't really check your background only if you did something or you want to join them." Emily looked at Derek.

"So that leaves the FBI. It means we had a spy inside." Rossi debated.

"Yeah but no one knows us that well in the FBI. How could the UnSub know so much if we are the only one who knows so much about each other?" Garcia continued.

"Maybe the partner told him and after he got the information the UnSub killed him." Hotch said.

"The partner is not dead." Spencer spoke and everyone stared at him wide eyed. "I know because I saw it."

"You saw the submissive?" Everyone shouted in shock.

"No, I saw his work." Spencer saw the confused faces and continued. "You see, our UnSub is negligent but yet very careful with his killing. He is a pig in real life but when he kills he becomes perfect. He wipes every blood stain and he takes care of the body as well. He knows he can't be a real perfection in real life so he finds himself a partner. Someone who can take the trash out and clean after him, not help him with the killing."

"Where are you going with this?" Aaron asked confused.

"When he tortured me I noticed something strange. The instruments were placed with care and sorted my size on the table."

"So, maybe he did it himself. Like you said, he is perfect when he kills." JJ pointed out.

"Yes, when he kills not before. He makes sure that the victim is perfectly killed and that it has no trace to him after the murder but before the killing he doesn't give a shit. That part is the partners' ones. He takes care of the instruments and the place the murder will take place. He also makes sure that the master will be pleased by his services." Spencer continued.

"So why give up on all that?" Hotch asked.

"He didn't kill the partner. He only said it not to make us suspicious." David said quickly.

"He knew we were gonna think that about the submissive. He tricked us." Derek said angry.

"So if the partner is not dead and he is part of the FBI where the hell is he?" Emily said confused.

"Garcia do you have your laptop with you?" Spencer asked the blond woman.

"Yeah, right here." She pulled out her computer and turned it on.

"Okay, can you check who had access to our files since we started working here?" The boy asked.

"Yep, just give me a minute." The blond woman tapped on the keyboard with the speed of light and in one minute she stopped. "Okay, here are just three persons who had access to our files and background since the beginning. The first one is the director of the FBI, then is Aaron Hotchner and …Holy sweet candies in sweet land!" Garcia shouted.

"Who?!" the team yelled in unison.

"Erin Strauss…" she continued whispering.

"What is so shocking? She is the assistant director, is normal to have access." David laughed.

"Yeah, but is it normal to access the files every week? When all the updates are posted?" Penelope continued.

"Garcia's right, this smells fishy to me." Emily said suspicious.

"Yeah… Garcia, can you check who approved with this mission before JJ?" Hotch asked.

"What do you mean before JJ?" Derek asked.

"Sometimes when a case is too complicated for the local police, the bureau thinks that it may be best if another SSA or a superior agent should approve to the case before the Communication Liaison." Aaron explained.

"So that means someone looked over that case before me and approved for us to go." JJ said.

"Um, guys…the person that approved the case before JJ is Erin Strauss." Everyone remained silent.

"This is the connection. She knew the killer and she sent us right in his arms." Emily rose from the chair.

"Garcia where is Strauss right now?" David asked.

"Um…" the blond geek tasted a little more until she found what she wanted. "According to her schedule she is at the FBI station right now." She continued quickly.

"Morgan, call the agency and tell them about Strauss, JJ and Garcia stay here with Reid, Emily, David you two come with me. Let's move she may be trying to release the killer right now." Hotch ordered.

"Aaron!" Hotch turned around and looked at Spencer. "Be careful please." He said softly.

"I will." Hotch smiled and left the room running after the others.

* * *

_**I know you may think I got crazy with Strauss being the partner, but I don't really like her. She tried to fire Hotch for God's sake, of course I hate her! And she cares more about her image than finding the criminal so I figured I might use this. :P See ya next time and I promise it won't take me so much to update.**_

_**Bye! **_


	7. The fun begins at the hospital! part 2

**So, guys this is my new chapter and I wanna thank you for being so patient with me. I also want to thank to all my readers and followers. A huuuugeeee thaaaannkkk yooouu!**

**Anyway, this chapter is full with a lot of things you may think it's crazy so I should warn you right now…My imagination got wild and I just put it all on paper, or screen…whatever. I just want you to be prepared for a lot of crazy things going on in here. **

**I have only two chapters left and I work on them right now, but I wanted to give you something to hold until I'm finished. ENJOY!**

* * *

**Previously: Reid woke up from his sleep and he revealed some interesting news to the team. The BAU team finally figured out the identity of the UnSub's partner…Erin Strauss. Hotch, Emily and David went to the police station after they found out. Derek remained with JJ, Penelope and Reid at the hospital to talk with the agency.**

* * *

"Garcia I just spoke with the agency, they said she left three hours ago. How did Strauss left Quantico without us knowing it?" Derek asked Penelope in the hospital room after he hung up.

"She left when we were here and asked for the UnSub to be transferred to the nearest FBI agency there is." The blonde woman answered looking into her computer screen.

"Morgan you have to catch Hotch and tell him about this. She took the UnSub to an unknown agency." JJ said concerned.

"It's not that unknown anymore. There is a FBI bureau in a city near Nashville, only 2miles away. She changed her schedule so that we think she is Quantico. If you hurry maybe you'll make it." Penelope said quickly.

"Okay, we'll talk on the phone guys! I'll contact the bureau from the city near Nashville and let them know about Straus too." Derek ran out of the room to catch up with the others.

* * *

The woman walked quickly but casually at the same time down the hallway, her eyes traveling from a side to another at the people around her. Not wanting to let her paranoia take over her body, the woman slowly moved one of her hands to the back and held it there. And as she moved further the people ran from a corner to another, talking and looking around them like maniacs, making her feel a little uncomfortable.

When she finally reached the end she wanted, the woman stopped in front of the steel door. Swallowing hard and dry, she moved her right hand slowly to reach the knob, her eyes moving around and around, looking for any intrusion in the way. When she put the palm on the knob and twisted to open the big door, a voice made her stop:

"Miss Strauss, what are you doing here?" a brunette man stood there confused.

"I-I wanted to see if I could make the suspect talk. I heard he is not cooperating." Strauss smiled friendly and released the handle.

"I'm sorry ma'am but I have direct orders not to let anyone get near the prisoner." The agent walked in front of the blonde woman and pushed her slightly away.

"Listen here, you boy. I am Chef Strauss, I have authority to see who ever I want and talk to any suspect I please." Strauss used the hand she had behind her, unnoticed and pulled out a gun. She held it there for a minute to see if the agent will move or not.

"I'm really sorry ma'am but I can't let you pass."

Strauss pulled the gun out completely and with one quick move she pressed the trigger, killing the agent. His body collapsed on the ground and pushed the door open at the same time. Opening the door wider and walking over the body, the woman entered the interrogation room. When she walked in she was face to face with the same man who tortured Reid and killed those women.

"You came to get me out?" the UnSub said not looking at her, but instead he looked in the window from the wall.

"Yes, now hurry up and let's go we don't have much time." She said from the door.

"What's the rush? You should learn to stop and smell the roses, sis."

"In case you don't remember well, brother, we are in a building filled with FBI agents. And it's not gonna take them long to receive the call from Hotchner's team, telling them that I am your partner."

"They already did sis." The UnSub looked at his sister smiling.

"What the hell did you do?" she asked terrified.

"Oh, dear sweet and stupid sis…did you thought I was going to let myself get caught so easily only to go to prison?" He rose from the chair and slowly made his way to his sister. "If you did then you really are stupid. I only did it so I could infiltrate here and have some fun." He smiled devilishly and closed the distance between him and the woman.

"What are you doing? Why are you so close?" Strauss was completely press to the door and her brother pressed against her, his lips on her ear.

"Don't worry sis, I promise I'll be gentle." He whispered and moved one of his hands down the body, stopping on the hip.

"Get off of me you sick pervert!" Erin yelled with all her lungs pushing the big man with all her strength.

"Now, now Erin, don't yell. You don't want those scary, big agents to come here and see us like that do you?" he nipped the ear lobe as his hand massaged the hip.

"Y-You sick bastard!"

"Erin, you wound me with those unkind nicknames." The man moved away from the ear and faced his sister. "And you know I have nicknames!" he quickly placed his palm on the woman's neck and started strangling her.

"L-Let g-o-go, y-you…" Strauss coughed.

"Me what, sis? Now you listen to me insolent bitch! If I say I'll fuck you I will and you don't have any words in this, and if I say I will kill you I will without any questions! Got it?" he whispered the last words in her ear, releasing her neck.

"I-I'm s-sorry big brother." She looked down ashamed.

"It's okay Erin, just don't do it again." He said softly and placing his right hand on her cheek, the man gave the poor blonde a smile. "Now, we should sit down and enjoy each other while we wait for our guests to come." The UnSub walked away from Strauss and sat back down on his chair. Strauss followed him and kneeled beside him, with her head down.

"Good girl Erin." The man placed his palm over her head and cherished it. "Now, suck me off!" now the cherishing transformed into a hair pulling, making the poor woman move to the front of the man's pants.

* * *

"Morgan, did you announced every agent from the bureau that Strauss is the partner?" Hotch looked into the rearview mirror at Derek who sat in the back seat.

"Yes, they look for her right now." The black skinned man answered.

"Good…Garcia, did you have any luck in finding the relationship between Strauss and the UnSub?" David asked from the front seat.

"Yes sir. According to some old files chef Strauss had a big brother named Michel. Apparently he went to prison for thirty years and got out just one year ago." Garcia answered from the other line of the phone.

"The killer is Strauss' big brother?" Emily asked shocked.

"Yeah, and the creepy part just comes. It says here that Michael was sent to prison for sexually assault to his own mother, several houses burglaries, rapping his little sister Erin and….wow, killing his own father. And Strauss never testified against him in court but the police charged him with it anyway because of the mother, who begged them to do it. " Garcia spoke.

"But for murder you get prison for life how come he got out after thirty years?" Derek asked.

"Glad you asked…the police didn't have enough evidence to accuse him of that too so they just charged him for the last ones. When he got out Michael changed his name into John Moriarty, and he lived the rest of his life as a farmer in Texas."

"Farmer at day and killer at night." David said.

"He must've found out that Erin is working in the FBI. Then he figured out a way to get in touch with her." Hotch continued.

"He threatened her that if she doesn't do what he asks, he will get back to his old self and rape her again." Derek continued the theory too.

"I think he already does rape her." Spencer's voice was heard from the phone.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked.

"I think he already has sex with Strauss. I mean think about it, you were raped by your brother for ten years and never testify against him in the court. After two years of constant sexual activity the human brain develops some feelings towards the person who assaults you."

"You think she fell in love with her brother after he raped her?" Rossi asked.

"Maybe she never considered it raping." Emily pointed out. "Reid what age does the file says the raping started?"

"Um…six. He raped Erin for the first time at the age of six." He answered.

"It makes sense. A six year-old kid can't realize what rape is so her brother must've said something to get her cooperation. He must've said that this was his way of affection so she didn't need to be afraid. Strauss thought it was okay and obeyed, then after ten years she realized she was in love with her brother." Emily continued her theory.

"She never testified in court because she never considered what Michael did as a crime." Hotch continued.

"Guys how far are you from the station?" Garcia asked.

"We are only two blocks away. Why?" Aaron said.

"Because I just accessed the surveillance cameras from the bureau and you're not gonna guess what I just found…Strauss is giving Michael a-a…" she couldn't finish the phrase in embarrassment.

"What?" Derek yelled.

"She is giving him a blow-job!" Spencer shouted instead of Garcia.

"Why didn't they left before we could announce the other agents? This doesn't makes any sense, Strauss knew we will get in touch with the others sometime, so why didn't they left?" David was confused.

"I think they're waiting for you." JJ's voice was finally heard in the phone.

"He can't be that stupid to wait for us in a building full of agents." Derek said smiling.

"Um, think again big guy. The agents are gone." Penelope said.

"What!?" the four of them yelled in the phone.

"There is no one left, nada, zip. I can't even find the janitor in there."

"Derek call the agency, ask them what the hell is going on there!" Hotch yelled angry.

Morgan pulled out his phone quickly and dialed the bureau's number. He waited a little until someone picked up. Derek spoke shortly and annoyed to the other person, asking him where everyone was. After one minute of inutile air losing, he finally hung up.

"They say that every agent evacuated on the orders of the director."Morgan sighed annoyed.

"What the hell is the director thinking? Now we don't stand a chance against them." Rossi said angry.

"Well we have to because we are here." Hotch sighed.

"Be careful guys." JJ, Garcia and Spencer said in unison.

The FBI building was surrounded by police cars and agents, all of them armed with all kinds of weapons. The four BAU members climbed out of the car and walked to the crowd of people. They looked around and saw that no one wanted to go inside and no one talked to them. Hotch got angry and without thinking he walked to some random agent and grabbed him by the collar.

"Who's the chef here?!" he yelled. The scared agent pointed at a bold man who talked with some woman.

"Hey!" Derek yelled and made the bold man turn around. "You're the chef here?"

"Yes, Special Agent Marcus, CIA. Who are you?" the man asked the four agents.

"I'm Aaron Hotchner; this is SSA Derek Morgan, SSA David Rossi and SSA Emily Prentiss. What's going on here?"

"We got orders from the director to evacuate the building. Some killer is in there and he is considered very dangerous."

"Yeah, we know. We were the one who caught him and informed you about his partner being one of our agents." Rossi said annoyed.

"So you were the ones who brought the most wanted serial killer CIA search for almost five months from Nashville into one of the FBI bureau in here?"

"Hey, we didn't do anything, his partner is a very important person in the FBI, and she ordered the transfer!" Derek comment.

"Whatever, just don't get in the way." Marcus turned around and left.

"Hotch we have to do something, we can't leave this to the CIA they don't know how to deal with him. It may end up with the UnSub killing them." Emily said concerned.

"Okay, everyone grab some bulletproof vests and ear pieces and let's go. We need to be careful though, okay? Derek, you and Emily go to the back and wait for my signal. Call Garcia and ask her to check the perimeter, see if Michael left and where he is then contact me. David, you come with me to the front. We need to make him feel that we are not a threat." Hotch told the plan and everyone left to the positions.

"Hey! What are those stupid agents doing?" agent Marcus yelled when he saw Rossi and Hotch at the front door. "Get out of there you morons!"

David and Aaron walked to the front door and entered the abandoned building. They looked around the lobby, pulling out their guns and walking slowly through the office room. The lights were off, leaving the two men into total darkness and without any flash lights to help them. The silence was so big that it made that scene look like one from a horror movie.

'_Hotch, you're there?'_ Derek's voice was heard in Hotch's ear piece.

"Yeah, Derek I'm here. What did Garcia said?" Hotch whispered back.

"_She said that Michael and Strauss moved to the roof."_

"Is he armed?" Hotch asked back.

"_Yes!"_

"Okay Morgan, David and I will go to the roof. You and Emily wait one floor down for my signal."Hotch closed his ear piece and looked at David.

"The roof it is." David smiled awkward.

The two men ran their way to the last floor, careful for any traps the killer might planted. When they reached the last floor Hotch stopped in mid steps and stared at David. The other man looked confused about Aaron's behavior. He walked slowly to his friend's side and stared into Hotch's eyes.

"Aaron, you're terrified." David said surprised.

"It's not fear what you see David." Hotch answered.

"Then what is it?"

"Hate and anger. I'm about to see the face of the bastard who almost killed the only person I really love David. And all I can think about is how to rip the skin off his body, slowly so that he could feel the pain."

"Okay, Aaron this thinking has to go, because the moment we walk through that door we are face to face with the most wanted killer. Even if I understand you, you have to forget about how to make him suffer and start thinking about staying alive." David assured his friend.

"I'll try, but it is hard."

"I know."

After a moment the two of them left and opened the big, metal door which leaded to the roof top. When they walked into the cold darkness of the night, a cool breeze blow into their direction. Hotch stared only ahead as the wind blew in his face. His eyes fixed on the man and woman before him.

Michael stood on the edge of the building, holding his sister by the hair beside him with one hand and with the other holding a pistol. His face was a little erased by the darkness but Hotch could swear the man was smiling widely at them.

"Well, well, well…Look sis, we have guests. Say something to them!" he laughed and pushed Strauss off the edge and onto the safe ground.

"YOU NEED TO LEAVE AARON!" Strauss yelled scared.

"We're not leaving Erin!" Rossi yelled instead of Aaron.

"I think she talked to the boss and not to you David. So why won't you shut up and let the grownups talk?" Michael growled angry. "Now, Aaron, how about a little game?"

"I'm not playing any game Michael! Hand over Strauss and surrender before we shoot you!" Hotch yelled back.

"Oh, I think you might wanna stick around and play it. You see, I have the power to make something really dear to you disappear in one second!" Michael laughed.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Spencer Reid you moron! I know you love him and I know he loves you too." Hotch eyes widened in fear and anger as he heard the man talk.

"What did you do?" Rossi said confused and scared at the same time.

"Again, I wasn't talking to you!" Michael yelled angry and pointed the gun at Rossi. "Now, you will shut up and listen as I talk to the man I really want."

"What did you do to Spencer?" Hotch managed to hold back his temper.

"Oh, nothing too fancy. You see I have a friend inside the hospital Spencer is in."

"Where are you going with this?" Hotch asked angry.

"Tell me something, do you know any doctor named Robinson?" Hotch and David both stared in terror. "That's what I thought. He is the one that brought your sweet Spencer back to life. But as he works for me he didn't stop there... I asked him to plant a small device inside Spencer's heart."

"WHAT?!" Hotch yelled and ran to the man.

"Ah, ah, ah, you wouldn't want to do that if you knew that whole story." Hotch stopped and stared at Michael. "Good…now, as I was saying… that device transmits electro shocks to the boy's heart every one hour if the good doctor doesn't stop them. I think you can remember your little reunion in the hospital room."

"You bastard! You were behind his heart attack, you almost killed him!" Hotch yelled and pointed the gun at the man.

"I wouldn't do that. You don't want to shoot me Aaron. Why don't you tell him why Erin?"

"If Michael dies I will press a button that is hidden inside one of my pockets and Robinson will know to release the device. The shock will hit Spencer's heart and with the condition he is in, his heart will stop within seconds, not triggering the machines." Strauss said with her head down.

"I believe now you will want to play the game I suggested. If you win I'll let Spencer live, if you don't you all die."

"How do I know you don't fool around and once I win you will tell Robinson to trigger the device?"

"You don't, that's what makes the game more fun. But the device can be removed, and your sweet boyfriend will be safe and sound."

"Don't do it Aaron, you don't know if he will do it!" David spoke when he saw Hotch thinking.

"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Michael pulled the trigger and shot David in the leg. The man collapsed on the ground in pain and Hotch turned to him, wanting to move. "IF YOU MOVE ANOTHER INCH I WILL PRESS THE BUTTON AND SPENCER WILL DIE!"

Hotch stopped in mid steps and looked at his hurt friend on the ground. His mind spinning around the need to help David and the need to save Spencer. The fear finally started to form and Hotch was sweating all over.

"Aaron, don't play it. You have no guarantee that-ARRGGGGHH!" David yelled in pain as another bullet hit his shoulder. He collapsed on the ground and cried in pain.

"Okay, okay I'll play the game! Just let me help him. " Hotch yelled turning to face Michael.

"That's what I like to hear, and you don't need to worry about him. Now come closer so that we can enjoy the game." Michael stepped down the edge and approached Aaron.

"He will die!"

"Oh no he won't, I didn't hit any vital organs." Michael said nonchalant.

"HE WILL DIE FROM THE BLOOD LOSS!" Hotch yelled angry.

"Nope, I just scratch him. The blood will stop in about two minutes. Now come here and let's play." Aaron looked at his friend on the ground and saw that the blood started to stop.

"What are the rules?" Hotch asked as he was face to face with the other man and tried with all his strength to stop himself from killing him.

"There are no rules. It is a simple twenty questions game. The first one who hits ten answers correct will win." Michael said smiling.

"This is too easy, what are the punishments if we miss one?"

"Oh, you really are smart. Now I remember why I chose you over that goof bag to play the game. The punishments are again simple; if we miss one then you have to cut yourself on one hand. I guess you can think about what will happen if you miss more than two, right?"

"How do I know you're not cheating?"

"Erin here will arbitrate our game. She will ask the questions and we will answer. Then she will note the score and reveal if the answer was true or fouls." Michael smiled friendly.

"No way. She is on your side, why her?"

"Because she knows you as good as she knows me and she's the only one qualified to say the truth."

"Yeah right. She is in love with you; of course she will make you win."

"No she won't. I trained her well when she was a little girl. Aaron I may be a killer but I am fair play when it comes to games. May I remind you that you have no other choice?"

"I don't know anything about you."

"That doesn't matter because as I said I am Fair Play. I will ask you questions about your friends and family. But remember that I know even the darkest secrets you never heard about."

"Fine. But if I win you will surrender and tell Robinson to remove Spencer's heart device."

"I only said I will remove the device not that I will surrender. But if you would raise the bet a little then maybe I will consider it."

"Fine…if you win then you may keep me and make any experiments you want on me. But if I win you will surrender and let Spencer live. Do we have a deal?" Hotch stared in the eyes of the devil as he said the last words.

"Wow, you are crazy about that guy aren't you? Fine we have a deal." Michael extended his hand for Hotch to shake it.

* * *

"Okay, Emily we have to wait for Hotch's signal and we're going to catch the bastard." Derek whispered to the brunette woman next to him. They were covered in total darkness, standing on the staircases, one floor beneath the roof top.

"Yeah…"

'_Okay, the first question…'_ suddenly Strauss voice was heard in both agents' ears.

"You hear Strauss too Emily?" Derek asked confused.

"Hotch must've reconnected his ear piece when Michael wasn't looking. But what kind of question is she talking about?"

"Maybe Hotch bet something with Michael, and reconnected with us because he needed help."

'Why_ did Emily quit Interpol?'_

"What is this, a game?" Emily asked shocked.

"I think it is…maybe Michael made Hotch play it for his life."

'_She quit because her life and her friends life was in danger. A criminal was after her because she was undercover and won his trust but eventually she betrayed him and she needed to fake her death only to keep safe. Because if she kept being an agent she might've bumped into some client or friend of that man and she couldn't afford it.'_ Michael answered happy.

"How the hell does he know that?" Emily asked angry.

"I don't know…but Spencer said he knew our deepest secrets that not even the team knows. Maybe that's why Hotch reconnected with us, he needed help with our secrets." Derek looked at his friend and started to worry.

'_That is correct.'_ Strauss confirmed.

'The_ next question is for Aaron. Why did Spencer began drugging?'_

"Come on Hotch you know this one." Derek encouraged his boss.

'_We had a case and the UnSub suffered from multi personality disorder. He kidnapped Spencer and tortured him; he infused drugs to Spencer until he almost died. After we captured the killer Spencer began drugging because it brought back memories of his family, his father in particular and because that sad memories began to cheer sometimes. After we found out we encouraged him and he finally stopped his addiction.'_ Hotch answered without any hesitation.

"Way to go Hotch!" Emily smiled happy.

'_That is correct.' _Strauss confirmed.

'_I knew you will find a way with it. You are a smart guy Aaron, I can't wait to win and have my way with your body. I can't wait to hear your sweet cries of pain and desperation. Oh, sweet melody to my heart.' Michael laughed._

"Hotch bet on him?!"Derek and Emily asked at the same time.

'The_ next question. Why did Haley cheated on Aaron?'_

"How the hell does he know she even cheated on him?" Morgan cursed.

'_She didn't considered Aaron being home enough. She always fought with him for leaving her and Jack alone for some dangerous case in another part of the country. Eventually she found consolation in another man.'_ Michael answered and Emily could hear him chuckle.

'_Correct.'_

'_How the hell did you knew this one?'Hotch questioned angry._

'_You're not the one to put the questions here; you're here to answer them. Now, shall we continue?'_

'_The next question is: Why did Gideon left the team?'_

"This one's a though one. Not even Hotch knows the answer." Morgan told his friend.

"What do you think happens if they miss one?"

"I think we're about to find out…."

'_Gideon left because he wanted time to think after his friend died because of him. He left because he wanted to be away from all the psychos we deal with everyday." _Derek and Emily heard Hotch smile a little when he said that_. 'He also left because he wanted to let Spencer improve. He knew that if he was around Spencer would never ask any of the team members for help but him. Gideon wanted Spencer to make friends and trust somebody else besides him. And that's the other reason he left.'_

'_That is also correct. Aaron how did you knew that, not even I knew it.'_ Strauss asked surprised.

'_Gideon wasn't only my friend but I would go to him when I had a problem... We all did, but Spence was the one who would go the most. He trusted Gideon with his life and he considered him a father figure. Gideon told me that he only came back for Spencer, to make him improve. To show him that he is a brilliant boy, and brave, despite what everyone else thought. Gideon loved Spencer like a son and he only wanted the best for him.'_

"I can't believe Hotch knew that." Emily said wide eyed.

'_Next question. Why did Penelope started hacking?'_

'_OH, that's an easy one. Her parents died and she needed something to get her attention.' Michael said cheerful._

'_I'm sorry Michael, that is partial correct.' Strauss said disappointed._

* * *

"I got it wrong?!" Michael asked angry.

"You did brother. I'm sorry…"

"DON'T SAY YOU'RE SORRY BITHC! JUST SHUT UP AND GIVE ME THE KNIFE!" Michael yelled so loud that the people from below could hear him.

Strauss pulled a small knife from behind her back and handed it over to his brother. As the man took it his eyes lighted up when he saw the shiny blade. He slowly moved the object to his hand and placed the cold iron on his warm skin. With a slight press, the small blade cut through the thin skin, letting the blood out. The red liquid dripped down the white skin and the blade cut deeper and deeper as the eyes of his user lighten up more and more with every drop of blood. Michael's face became darker and his lips curved in a smile, showing his white teeth. He shot his head up and closed his eyes as the smile became a loud laugh and the blade was pressed harder into the flesh.

"Brother Stop! You will die if you continue!" Strauss yelled as she ran to her brother, trying to make him stop.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW? I AM IMORTAL!" Michael yelled at his sister as he removed the blade, dropping it onto the ground and laughed the last phrase. His laugh was louder and louder and his arm became redder and redder with every second.

Strauss searched inside her pockets for some bandages. When she found them, she ran to her brother's side and took his arms carefully. Erin pressed on the wound to make the blood stop and with another hand she began to roll the material over the wrist. The bandage turned red as she rolled it over and over again. She finished the hand and rose her head up to stare into her brother's eyes. The light and happiness she saw scared the hell out of her. Her brother was enjoying pain and blood almost as much as he enjoyed making others suffer.

"Erin, dear sister…" Michael whispered when he calmed down. "You know how much I love you, right?" he moved closer to her and placed his palm over her check. "Now, don't cry little butterfly. Do you remember, that's how I used to call you when we were kids and made love?" he pressed his lips over hers softly.

"I will ask the next question. Is it okay big brother?" she smiled sadly when Michael pulled away.

"Sure little butterfly." He nodded and smiled.

"The next question is: Why was Derek molested when he was a child?"

* * *

"Derek this is it. You have to help Hotch; he doesn't know the answer to this one." Emily whispered.

"I know! Hotch, listen to me." Derek spoke a little louder. "I never knew why that man did that to me. I only know he did it to all of the kids."

'_I have no idea why the one that molested him did it but I know he did it to all of the kids.' _Hotch repeated.

"I went to a wrong path after my father died. I did some pretty bad things that I am not brave about. Then one night that man came into my life…"

'_Derek went to a wrong path when he was a kid, and after his father died he did some things he isn't brave about… then after some time that man came into his life.'_

"He used to help me with everything, and I started to trust him with my life…. he was my savior…but one night he started to change things…"

'_Derek looked up to him but one night things changed…'_

"He accidently brushed his arm against my groin, or pushes me from behind; touching my ass…then after some mouths I thought it really was just accidents, that he couldn't be that way…"

'_He started to sexually harass Derek, always touching him and accidently pushing him. But Derek couldn't believe he was doing that on purpose.'_

"One night, after the basketball practice, he asked me to go with him to the lake. He offered me wine, a lot of it…after a few drinks I was smashed, I couldn't even talk, but I knew what was happening. He started to undress me, but I couldn't do anything, I was paralyzed…"

'_Then one night, after a basketball practice he took Derek to the lake. There, he offered Derek wine until he got so drunk he couldn't move. When he saw the opportunity, he started to undress Derek and molested him right there.'_

"And it went on and on again. He is the reason I became a fed…I want to put people like him behind bars." Derek stared at the floor like a little kid.

'_He is the reason Derek became a cop. He wanted to put people like his aggressor behind bars…' _Hotch finished his answer.

"Hey, you did a good job Derek. I know this is been hard for you to share with us, especially in this kind of situation." Emily comforted her friend quietly.

"Yeah… let's focus on the questions." Derek ignored the ache in his chest and continued.

'_That is correct Aaron.'_ Strauss spoke.

* * *

"Good job Aaron!" Michael cheered his enemy.

"Why are you so happy?" Hotch stared suspicious at the man.

"Because I just found out you cheated!" Michael frowned angry.

"What are you talking about?" Hotch's heart started to beat a mile per hour as he stared at the man emotionless. He had to admit, pretending not to be interested in Spencer all this time had paid out. He could fake so good that even the poker players would be jealous.

"It took you too long to answer the question. Plus, you had a big pause between the phrases…" The other man approached Aaron and smiled into his face. "DO YOU THINK I AM THAT STUPID!?"

He grabbed Hotch by the throat and pushed him backwards, to the door. While they were walking, Michael stared in Aaron's eyes as he forced to struggle so that he could breathe. Hotch's back hit the steel door hardly and his head was pressed to it harder and harder as Michael approached. One of Michael's hands made its way to the knob and slowly opened it.

He released Hotch's neck and past him, walking into the darkness. Aaron fell down on the ground, with a hand over his neck in pain and coughing uncontrollably. His eyes shut closed and his mouth hanging open, catching air with so much power, Hotch totally forgot that Derek and Emily are in danger. But when he came to his senses, he rose up like an arrow and ran to David.

"David, are you okay?" Hotch asked terrified for his friend's life.

"Yeah, I'm okay Aaron. You need to catch that bastard before he finds Emily and Derek." David groaned a little as he spoke.

"I'm not leaving you here!"

"Yes you are. You need to catch Michael. I will be fine, the blood stopped and the medics will be here soon."

"But…"

"No buts, you have to do this Aaron. This man can't leave this building alive and you know it!"

"Are you one hundred percent sure you'll be okay?" Hotch didn't want his friend to be left alone.

"Not one hundred percent because it hurts like hell but I will be okay! Now go!" Hotch nodded slowly and ran after Michael.

Derek and Emily were cut off guard when the UnSub came before them. He stood one stair higher than the two agents, staring down at them with a huge smile over his face. Derek took advantage of the darkness and moved his left hand to pull out his gun. But before he could Michael pulled his trigger and the bullet hit the black man in the arm he tried to hide.

Derek yelled in pain as he took the bloody arm into the other one and glared at the man before him. Emily ran to her friend, taking his wounded arm and looking it over for any sign of vital damage. Then she pressed the wound to stop the bleeding, not caring that there was a killer right behind her.

"So, this is how Aaron answered the last question. You told him didn't ya'?" Michael started to move towards them.

"Did you really think I was going to let my friend loose over a maniac?!" Derek said, groaning in pain a little at the same time.

"Well I always thought you were a good man, Derek. However, you are too naïve and too hurt to see when someone is using you. Admit it you are just a broken man, who had a very, very ravishing childhood. You are just a wreck, nothing more than those kids your aggressor molested." Michael stopped in front of Derek and Emily and smiled at them.

"You are a maniac if you think we will let you leave this building alive!" Emily let Derek's hand go and stared at Michael.

"Oh, but you will let me leave. I have your precious Spencer right under my sleeve. If I just wink he will die within seconds."

* * *

**Soooo, what do you guys think? Pretty crazy right? I warned you about it…and I don't know if there's a FBI agency near Nashville I just made it up.**

**Tell me what you think please! And I know that it has a lot of mistakes I'm still trying to correct them! I am still working on the next two chapters and I hope I'll be done soon, but I just had to post this! REVIEW PLEASE! **

**See ya' next time!;)**


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